Just
by NajwaBarlaam
Summary: What if Lily wasn't quite as perfect as everyone thought she was? And what if James had the opportunity to meet the real Lily Evans? Could he prove he really had matured? Would he still want her if she wasn't exactly what he had expected?
1. Paradise

James lounged on the chair in his room, aimlessly reading a Quidditch magazine. He knew Sirius would be up for some fun, but James just couldn't seem to find the motivation.

When the other boy wandered in, James simply continued reading.

"Your mother's beginning to wonder if you've come down with something," Sirius said, flopping himself down on James' bed.

"I'm sure you had the sense to inform her she was worrying too much," James responded in a bored voice.

He could feel Sirius' disapproving look from across the room.

"Well, I did. But I think I'll have to go back down and confess, tell her she should be worried. Very worried," Sirius shook his head. "Instead of a son, she has a whiny little Mary who can't seem to function through the haze of pathetic, unrequited, puppy dog love."

James glowered at him. "Talking of dogs," he said.

But Sirius only grinned. "Indeed. Talking of dogs, and wonderful best friends – as they do make – I've a surprise for you."

"No," James said immediately, trying to head him off at the pass. "No, Sirius. We aren't doing any more surprises. The last one almost burned down my bloody house."

Sirius had the grace to look ashamed, if only a bit. "Not that sort. Trust me mate. This is like a very early Christmas present. Hell, it's enough to cover all presents ever for the rest of your days."

James raised his eyebrows. "Somehow, I don't find that build up comforting."

"Bloody hell, mate," Sirius said, chucking a pillow at James, "where's your sense of adventure?"

"Back at Hogwarts. Where you can't burn down my house," James said, returning to his magazine.

"What if I tell you my plan involves a pub, where a certain red-headed muggleborn that sucks all the fun out of people might be working," Sirius asked in a casual voice.

James continued to stare at the same spot on his magazine for a long moment, considering the implications. "You found out where she works?"

"Mmmhhhmm . . ." Sirius said, picking up a quaffle off James' floor and beginning to toss it in the air. "And, as it's a public establishment, she can't actually throw us out," he added, for good measure.

James tossed his magazine on the desk. "Excellent. What's the plan?"

* * *

James straightened the sleeve of his shirt. "Are you certain this is the sort of . . . garb we would wear?" he asked.

Both Sirius and Remus nodded.

"Moony here did his fair share of research," Sirius said, inclining his head. "Not that it was necessary. I've done my research for the past few summers," he grinned.

"I don't think shagging muggles counts as research," Remus laughed.

"Can you think of a better way to sort out how to pass as a muggle?" Sirius asked. "They aren't very well going to shag me if they think I'm a nutter, now are they?"

Remus conceded the point with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Right. So, we just walk in then, yeah?" James asked.

"Bloody hell. It's like being friends with a twelve year old girl," Sirius complained, staring at James in disgust. "Yes, Prongs. We just walk in. Give the man at the door the little card I gave you and you won't have any trouble."

"Right," James said, nodding sharply and pulling out the card to examine it.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to give them our real names?" he asked.

Sirius considered the point. "Well, that depends, mate. Are you planning on pulling off a heist?"

"No?" James responded, unsure.

"Then I think we're sorted, yeah? I made the mistake of using a fake name once," Sirius said. "And it all went to shite when I got pissed. They kept calling me Mark, and I kept calling them stupid for fucking up my name," he shook his head. "Not a good scene at all."

Remus laughed. "Mark? Really? If you could choose your name, _that_ would be your choice?"

"I bloody well wasn't going to go with a family approved name, now was I?" Sirius responded.

"Fair enough," Remus decided. "Where's Peter at tonight?"

Sirius shrugged. "Said he couldn't make it. Family stuff and all that. I think he just couldn't get past his mum."

"That's a shame. I'm sure he'd love to be here," Remus said, rubbing at his neck.

"Yeah. Because, we all so love to watch James crash and burn with Evans," Sirius joked.

James glared at him. "If you didn't want to do this, why did you suggest it?"

Sirius wore an expression James couldn't interpret. "Oh, because I want to see your reaction. Wouldn't miss it for the world, mate."

Both James and Remus gave him a baffled look. "What are we walking into here, Sirius?" Remus asked.

"Heaven," Sirius said, without missing a bit.

Sirius led the way up to the door, handing the large man guarding it his ID card without the slightest sign of concern. He also handed over a stack of muggle money. James wanted to ask about it, but didn't think he should draw attention to his ignorance. He and Remus both handed over their cards as well.

The man made a mark on each of their wrists, and then told them to go inside.

"That's a strange way of doing things," James whispered to Remus, who merely shrugged.

"Welcome," Sirius said, as they walked into the bar, "to James' own personal version of paradise," he finished with a flourish.

James would have given him a baffled look, but he found himself distracted by the bar. More specifically, he found himself distracted by the women dancing on the bar. In very little clothing.

"Sirius, I don't understand-" James began to say, but the words died in his mouth when he made the connection. He blinked. "This is where she works?" he said. "This is what she _does_ in the summer?" He could hear the panic in his own voice.

Sirius stared at him with a confused expression. "Mate, you can't tell me this," he indicated a brunette, who was dancing to the music and pouring something directly into a patron's mouth, "isn't something you've dreamed about seeing Lily do for years. I share a bloody dorm with you."

"She doesn't actually, you know, dance on the bar, does she?" James asked in small voice. "She's just a waitress or something, yeah?"

Sirius shrugged. "Dunno mate. I just saw her leaving one night and decided to investigate." He grinned. "And here we are."

"Yeah," James said, sounding far less excited than his best friend.

Remus shot him a sympathetic look. "Let's grab a table, yeah?"

Sirius seemed annoyed that they weren't going directly to the bar, but James jumped at the chance to take a seat and collect his thoughts.

* * *

_A/N – Quick, name that movie. Extra points for anyone who can name a similar type of establishment._


	2. Gits

Lily swung behind the bar, depositing an empty bottle in the bin. She took an order from some girls out for a hen party. She'd lay odds they'd all end up dancing on the bar before the night was finished.

"I call 'not it' on the table of students in the back," Tanya said, slipping down to the end of the bar and beginning to take orders there.

"Ah, come on, Tan. Why do you always leave me with the shite tippers?" Lily complained.

"Because you're new. When somebody else starts, you can shove them off on her," the blonde responded unapologetically.

"Fantastic," Lily said, rolling her eyes. She slid the ladies their shots, took their money, and swung out from behind the bar.

She headed directly for the booth Tanya had indicated, planning to take their order, get them their drinks, and ignore them for the rest of the night.

"What can I get for you?" she said, feigning a smile, which dropped off her face the moment she saw who sat at her table. "Bloody hell," she cursed. "You lot aren't even old enough to be in here," she scolded in an angry whisper. She tried to ignore the way Potter was staring at her.

"Neither are you," Sirius responded cheekily. "I won't tell if you don't," he added with a wink.

"Shouldn't you be wearing more clothes?" James asked, still staring.

Sirius and Lily gave him identical looks of disgust, for very different reasons.

"Bring the boy to a place where women run around in their skivvies, and he tells them to put more clothes on," Sirius said, shaking his head in disbelief. He turned to Remus. "I'm really beginning to question his sanity."

"I'm not in my skivvies, thank you," Lily huffed.

Sirius eyed her. "That shirt stops, what, six inches _above_ your navel. And the shorts, shall we call them, end about an inch below your –"

"Sirius," James growled.

"I'm only saying, I've seen girls at the beach in more than this," Sirius grumbled.

"Right," Lily said, placing a hand on her hip. "Are you lot going to order, or are you going to critique my wardrobe?"

Sirius grinned. "I thought we could do both."

Lily huffed out a breath. Potter was still staring at her, Lupin looked supremely uncomfortable, and Black was enjoying himself far too much. Lily spun on her heel and walked away. She decided they didn't need drinks after all.

She heard someone chasing after.

"Now, Lily," Black said, trying for a soothing tone.

"Scarlet, thanks," Lily hissed at him.

He raised his eyebrows. "A whole secret identity? I'm impressed."

"It's called sense. I don't exactly want skeevy little pervs like yourself knowing who I am or how to find me," she snapped.

"Fair point," Black decided. "But that's not really my concern."

"And what would your concern be," Lily asked through gritted teeth.

"James," Sirius said simply. "He's been off since you're little argument with him about Snivellus," when Lily opened her mouth to respond, he held up a hand. "I'm not after getting into that tonight. I'm only saying we're here to cheer James up. All you have to do is your job, yeah? Be a good little waitress and get us some drinks."

"Fuck off," Lily said, turning away.

"This place has really given you some teeth. But I'm betting you won't have a job here much longer if I tell the owner you're sixteen," Sirius said quietly, pulling her back around to face him.

"Really? You're going to get me fired? That's lovely, Black. Chivalrous, almost. I see why you're in Gryffindor," she responded venomously.

"Yes, well, there we are," Sirius brushed it off. "Bring us something fun, will you?"

* * *

"What was that about?" James asked, when Sirius returned to the table.

"Oh, just putting in our drink order," Sirius said, waving away James' concern.

James eyed him skeptically. "She looked upset."

"You're little darling's an emotional one," Sirius shrugged.

"What did you order?" Remus asked, obviously trying to forestall a fight.

"Waitress' choice. I just asked for something fun."

It didn't take long for Lily to return with their drinks. She had three on a tray. Each came in a little shot glass, with whipped cream on top.

"What are these?" Sirius asked, clearly pleased.

Lily gave him back an evil smile. "Something fun," she said. She set the tray on the table and picked up one of the shots. James jumped back when she placed a hand on his knee. She gave him a look and he went still. Carefully, she set the shot down in between his legs, very high up. James tried very, very hard not to react to her proximity.

"Now you," she said, pointing to Sirius, "get to take it."

"They're called blowjobs," she added, turning to walk away. "I figured they were right up your alley. Fun, yeah?"

Sirius gave James a disgusted looked as she left. "There's no way I'm taking that shot," he said.

James, who had been thoroughly distracted watching Lily walk away, jumped when he realized what Sirius was talking about, and managed to spill the shot all over his pants. "Lovely," he said.

"It's not my fault you're after a harpy," Sirius complained.

James shot him a look, but refrained from saying anything.

* * *

Lily stomped up to the bar.

"That bad?" Tanya asked.

"I simply don't understand why having a penis means you have to be a complete arse," Lily huffed.

Tanya laughed. "You can't complain too much about their anatomy," she said, climbing onto the bar. She motioned for Lily to join her.

"After all," she continued, as Lily stepped up as well. "If they didn't spend all their time thinking with their little brains, we wouldn't get half so many tips as we do."

Lily gave her an exasperated look. "I don't care which brain they want to think with, so long as they don't behave like baboons," she said, earning another laugh from Tanya.

"Darling, it's a proven fact. The more a man thinks with his dick, the more of a baboon his is. There are reasons why royalty used to castrate some of their advisers," Tanya said.

Lily stared at her opened mouthed. Casting a look about the bar, she leaned in closer. "Do not let this lot hear you say that," she whispered.

Tanya laughed again, "Darling, all this lot sees is a pair of fit birds whispering secrets in each other's ears. They've probably already moved on to fantasies of pillow fights and three ways."

Lily glanced around the patrons as she danced her way down to the other end of the bar. She thought Tanya was probably right, given the amount of attention they had garnered just standing and chatting to each other.

When a new song came up, she did the appropriate moves. She avoided looking at the booth in the corner. She did not want to contemplate what that would mean for the next school year. She'd probably be branded a slag within the first day.

She grinned when she saw Tanya make her way up the bar, pouring vodka all along behind her. When the blonde pulled out a lighter, most of the pub cheered. Lily saw Tanya look around to be sure each of the girls was ready, then she dropped the lighter.

As the fire rushed toward her, Lily pulled herself up onto the rails above the bar. She danced for a few moments above the bar, and then dropped back down just before the flames burned themselves out. There was something exhilarating about dancing so close to fire. She actually managed to forget the gits in the back booth for a while.

* * *

_A/N: Those of you who said Coyote Ugly were dead on. I got dragged to a bachelorette party at one of these places (because what the bride to be really wants on the eve of her wedding is to watch other girls dance around half naked), and thought it might be a fun little bit of drama to toss into a basic L/J story. As always, review are most welcomed. _


	3. Students

James, Sirius, and Remus stayed until close. Sirius had made the most of his night, buying a drink off of every girl that walked by with a bottle. James didn't have the impression Sirius had particularly liked the alcohol, but he had clearly enjoyed having the girls pour it straight into his mouth.

Remus had only had the first shot, which he had declared quite good. He didn't seem as put off by the method as James and Sirius had been, but James guessed that was because no one had suggested he wanted to give or receive a blow job from one of his best mates. James was still smarting about that one, and he guessed from the occasional glares Sirius sent in Lily's direction that his friend was still irritated as well.

At the moment, Sirius was chatting up a little brunette from two tables over. Apparently they had been out for a hen party. James thought he had heard her say something about being the maid of honor, but he wasn't sure. When Sirius tossed him a questioning look, James gave a quick nod. No sense in Sirius passing up a good opportunity just because James' night hadn't gone so well.

James glanced over at Remus. "You about ready?" he asked.

Remus looked surprised. "You aren't going to stay and try to talk with her?" he asked.

"Nah," James shook his head. "I didn't get the impression she particularly wanted us here," he added ruefully.

"No, I suppose not," Remus agreed. "Wonder why she's working here. It doesn't really seem like her style."

James shrugged. "Don't ask me. I've been trying to understand that girl for years now. I don't think it's ever going to happen," James said, watching in irritation as a middle-aged man tried to chat Lily up. He felt mild relief when he saw her catch the eye of the man at the door, who immediately came over and reminded the arsehole that the place was closing.

James rose, grabbing his things. "Knight Bus?" he asked.

Remus nodded. "There was an alley a few blocks over. We can catch it there without having to worry that anyone will see."

They walked out of the bar without speaking to Lily. When they got to the alley Remus had indicated, James feigned concern. "Damn," he said. "I left my bloody cloak. I'll have to go back and get it."

"It's no problem," Remus responded calmly. "It's just a few blocks, we can grab it quick and be back in no time."

"Nah," James said, messing up his hair. "I don't want to make you wait. You're probably tired. I'll just run back and get it. Catch you up on the weekend, then?"

Remus gave him a knowing smile. "Sure," he said. "See you then."

James waved at Remus and then turned back toward the bar. He heard the Knight Bus come and go. His ruse hadn't worked in the least. Remus was practically impossible to lie to, but at least he hadn't made an issue of it.

* * *

"How'd you do?" Tanya asked as she went about her closing duties.

Lily shrugged, shoving her money in her purse. "Not bad. That David's always a good tipper."

"Bit on the creepy side, though, yeah?" Tanya responded, continuing to scrub down the bar.

Lily rolled her eyes. "They all are. Well, not the women so much. They're mostly a laugh. God, did you see that one?"

"The granny?" Tanya laughed.

"Ah, she probably wasn't that old," Lily attempted to defend the woman. "And she had some pretty good moves."

Tanya laughed. "I hope I've got her balls when I'm that age," she said.

"I hope you haven't got any balls when you're that age," Paul said, walking over from his place at the door to join them. He turned to Lily. "You ready, love?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah. Laters, Tan."

"Goodnight."

"So," Paul asked, opening the door for Lily. "How was your night, then, love?"

"Not amazing. I had a table of students," she said with an eye roll.

Paul laughed. "Only waitresses can make the word 'student' sound like a curse," he said, leading the way toward the underground.

"That's because only waitresses know what shite tippers students are. And they're obnoxious," she added.

Paul put her on her train, as usual. Lily had absolutely revolted at the idea of anyone taking her all the way home, but she understood the safety concern. They simply wanted to make sure that no over-eager patrons tried to accost her on her way home.

Lily sat down and looked out the window. She couldn't wait to curl up and go to sleep.

* * *

Under his invisibility cloak, James waited until he saw her go in her apartment. Then he walked a few blocks away, found a deserted alley, and summoned the Knight Bus for a ride home.


	4. All I Have

As Lily road the train home, she had the strangest feeling. She felt like someone was watching her. Normally she would have simply brushed it off, but this had been going on for weeks now.

She found herself jumping at odd sounds, and calling out to see if anyone was there. No one ever responded. Then again, you couldn't exactly expect a stalker to announce himself.

As Lily got off the train, she felt someone bump into her. She turned to say excuse me, but found that the closest person was several feet away. He too had a confused look on his face. She gave him a quick smile and made her way out onto the platform. She felt suspicion being to dawn.

Walking quickly out of the station, she listened for footsteps. Sure enough, she could just hear them, matching her own, step for step. She turned off and headed away from her apartment. If she was going to use magic, the further from home the better.

When she gauged the distance to be acceptable, she turned on him.

"_Petrificus Totalis_," she said, pointing her wand. She heard a thump and rushed over to finally solve her mystery.

She still couldn't see anything, but she felt around where she had heard the person fall. Sure enough, there was someone there. She dragged off a piece of smooth material and found herself staring down at the petrified form of James Potter.

She gritted her teeth. "This – _this _– is what you've sunk to?" she hissed. "Following me around under an invisibility cloak." A horrible thought occurred to her. "I swear to God, James Potter, if you've been watching me undress, I'll curse you until you regret the day you were born."

He couldn't move to deny anything, but he seemed to be trying to speak with his eyes. She thought about simply leaving him there. With a sigh, she decided she wanted an explanation.

She muttered the countercurse and watched as his muscles relaxed. "Well?" she demanded.

"No," he said. "Of course I haven't been watching you undress," he said, affronted.

"Yes, how horrible of me to assume you had ulterior motives when you've only been following me around under an _invisibility cloak_," she hissed at him.

"Well, yes, I see how this must look," he conceded. "But I'm only doing it because you work at that horrible place."

"Really? You've been stalking me because of my job. What, one look at me in cutoffs and you can't control yourself anymore?"

"It's not me I'm worried about!" he shouted. "Have you seen the way those men look at you?"

"I imagine it's similar to the way you look at me," she snapped.

His mouth worked like a fish. "That's not –" he began. "Fine," he shouted. "Yes, I like you, and I want you. But I don't come into a bloody bar every night to watch you dance around half naked."

She raised her eyebrows.

"Well, I don't want to anyway," he said, dejected. "Do you really think I want to sit there and watch old men drool all over you?" he asked in a small voice.

"Then don't," she snapped.

He stared at his hands. "It isn't safe," he said. "I know that _Paul_ walks you to the train each night, but then he just leaves you on it. As though there's no way one of those bastards could be waiting for you. You aren't that hard to follow, you know."

"Muggles don't have invisibility cloaks," she said, frustrated. "The only stalker I've got, James, is you."

He shook his head. "I've seen him. That David bloke. He waits for you at the end of your shift."

"He likes to say goodbye," she sighed. "I admit it's creepy, but that's why Paul's there. And this," she gestured to him, "is much creepier."

James shook his head. "I've seen him outside, too. I think if you ever came out without Paul, he'd try something. And it's not a far step from waiting outside to following you home," he said.

Lily felt her skin crawl a bit, but tried not to react too much. "Lucky I have magic then," she said.

He only looked at her.

"You have to stop this, Potter," she said. "You can't just follow people around under an invisibility cloak."

"I haven't done anything wrong, Lily. I just make sure you get from the train to your house safely. If you'd let me, I'd do it without the cloak, but . . ." he shrugged.

"Ugh," she said, frustrated. "You're planning on protecting me with magic, yeah? I don't know if you've noticed, Potter, but I'm actually quite a talented witch."

James sighed. He dragged himself to his feet and stood facing her. In a lightning fast move, he grabbed her wrists and pushed her back against the wall of a building, hands above her head.

"Potter," she said, not quite able to keep the fear out of her voice.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Lily," he said in a sorrowful voice. "I'm only pointing out that your magic won't do you any good without a wand," he explained. Releasing her hands, he stepped carefully away.

She rubbed at her wrists, watching him uncomfortably.

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't like it, Lily. I don't like the way they look at you." He said. "I know you think I'm a terrible person, but I would never hurt you like that. And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if somebody else did and I could have stopped it."

She turned and starting back to her apartment. After a moment, she heard his footsteps fall into place behind her.

She stopped, turning to face him. "If you're going to be here either way," she said, sighing, "I'd rather you not where the cloak."

He nodded. "I can understand that."

She tilted her head to the side. "And I'd rather be able to trust that you aren't wearing the cloak when I don't know. Say, after I'm in my apartment."

"Lily, I would never –"

"I don't really have any reason to trust you on this," she said quickly. "I know you've been following me in secret. And I have no way of knowing – beyond your word – that you haven't taken advantage of the situation."

He scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I don't have any way to prove it to you," he said. "All I have is my word."

"You have the cloak," she said.

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't prove anything."

She turned and started walking in the direction of her apartment. He fell into step beside her. "You could leave it with me," she said, casting him a sideways glance. "Then I would know you couldn't possibly be wearing it and spying on me."

He didn't say anything for several long moments. "Ok," he said. "But you have to promise to let me walk you home."

She gave him an appraising look. "Deal," she said, finally.

True to her word, she let him walk her all the way to her door. And true to his, he handed her the cloak before she went inside.


	5. Thanks

James waited impatiently across the street from Lily's bar. He'd been sitting there for close to an hour. Normally James couldn't be on time to save his life, but he didn't want to risk being late and having her leave without him.

He threw stones into the gutter on the other side of the street, thinking he'd have to remember to bring a book tomorrow.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, he saw her and _Paul_ come out the door. She spotted him immediately and gave him a nod. He quickly fell into step beside her.

"Paul, this is James," she said. "James, Paul." The two nodded at each other.

Paul raised an eyebrow at Lily. "Walking a tightrope on the boyfriend rule, aren't you?" he said.

"He's not my boyfriend," she responded.

Paul nodded in a slow, disbelieving manner. "Right," he said.

"Really," she returned. "He's just a friend. A very paranoid friend who thinks it isn't safe for me to ride the train home alone at night."

Paul stopped and stared at her. "I've been saying that all along," he said.

"Yes, but I don't want to inconvenience you," she replied. "James is a stubborn arse who won't take no for an answer," she explained.

James decided not to respond. For starters, the statement was pretty true. And beyond that, her friend had assumed she was dating James. Which meant she definitely wasn't dating Paul. _And_ Lily Evans had just referred to him, James Potter, as her friend. This night really couldn't get any better.

Paul didn't seem particularly satisfied with her answer, but he chatted pleasantly enough on the way to the underground.

James and Lily got on the train, and Lily waved goodbye to Paul.

"So," James began. "What is his actual job description?"

"He's a bouncer," Lily said, giving him a strange look.

"And a bouncer is . . . ?" James left the sentence hanging.

"Umm . . ." Lily said, thinking it over. "A bouncer is a bit like a security guard. They check everyone's ID and make sure no one goes in that isn't supposed to. And then they make sure that nobody causes trouble once they're inside."

At her stop, they both exited the train. James walked her up to her apartment and waited until she was safely inside before he left.

* * *

_Another night_

Lily stood staring down at James. He was reading _To Kill a Mockingbird_ under the light of a street lamp, and seemed totally unaware she was there. She briefly considered sneaking off to walk home alone for once, but decided that it would be cruel. He would probably stay there until he finished the book and then panic when he realized he hadn't seen her.

"So, who do you like better, Jem or Scout?" Lily asked.

James looked up in surprise. "Atticus," he said.

Lily smiled. "I could let you be," she offered. "You seem enthralled."

James gave her a look.

"Would it be _so_ terrible for me to walk home once by myself?" Lily whined.

James shrugged, closing his book and rising to his feet. "We can't really know can we? But I don't really think it's worth the risk."

Lily sighed. Forcing herself to move on, she changed the subject. "So, why _To Kill a Mockingbird_?" she asked.

James shrugged. "The woman at the bookshop recommended it," he said. "I don't know much about muggle books, so I thought I was better off following her advice than picking one at random."

"What do you think so far?" she asked, curious.

"It's good," James said. "Atticus kind of reminds me of my dad, actually."

"Oh, yeah?" Lily responded, surprised. She had always assumed James' parents were sort of absent. It would account for his behavioral problems.

He seemed to know what she was thinking. "Apparently I haven't benefited as much from it as these two do," he said. He smiled slightly. "Scout reminds me a little bit of you."

Lily blinked. "How so?"

James shrugged. "She's always trying to understand how other people would feel. Reminds me of you and Snape."

Lily didn't say anything. They walked off the train and headed toward her flat.

"Anyway," James pretended there was no awkward pause. "I like the book. Is that what they do in muggle studies? Read books like this? Because, if that's the case, I may have misjudged the class."

Lily laughed. "I don't think so. I've always had the impression they spend the majority of their time on things like electricity. Which I suppose is more relevant."

"I dunno," James said. "I think anyone that gives Voldemort the time of day could benefit from reading this," he said, holding up the book.

"You might be right," Lily agreed, smiling slightly. "Why didn't you pick Jem?" she asked after a while.

"What do you mean?" he responded.

"He's all about bravery," Lily said, climbing her stairs. "I would have thought you'd empathize with him the most," she explained.

James scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I dunno," he said. "I like them all, really. There's a bit of Sirius in Dill," he said. At Lily's look, he felt compelled to defend his statement. "I mean it. The whole bit about not really having a family. And the way his friendship with Scout and Jem is so important to him," he explained. "But to me, the kids are still working things out. That sort of, I dunno, where I am. But Atticus, he's teaching them how to be decent. He's . . . honorable, I guess."

Lily unlocked her door.

"Goodnight, Lily," he said.

She opened the door, and then paused, turning to face him. Rising up on her toes, she kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Thanks for walking me home," she said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Thanks for letting me."

She smiled at him before pulling the door shut. She sat down by her window and watched him make his way back down the street.


	6. Wait

"So," Sirius said, flopping into the chair across from James. "Is it the club then? Little Miss Perfect's secret club?"

"Come on, mate," James said. "Don't call her that."

Sirius shrugged. "What? It's obvious she wants to be perfect. It's really a compliment."

"Somehow I don't think she'd see it that way," James said.

Sirius nodded. "I see. I see. And is this something you've discussed while hanging out at her current place of employment?" Sirius asked.

James just laughed. "Are we going to Diagon Alley or what?"

"Don't try to change the subject, Prongs. I want to know where you've been every night," Sirius said, looking stern.

"Wow," James said, grabbing hold of Sirius' head and examining his face. He yanked on his hair. "This disguise is remarkable, Mum."

Sirius shoved him off. "Funny," he said. "You really aren't going to tell me."

"I like a bit of air every now and again," James responded with a shrug.

"Every night? At the same time?" Sirius shook his head. "I'm not an amateur James. I can read the signals as well as anyone. I just think if you're shagging her, we've a right to know. As your friends, we've invested a lot in this little endeavor."

James scoffed. "Like what? Aside from a few drinks that one night."

"You wound, James," Sirius said, grasping his chest with one hand. "To the quick. 'One night' he says. As though we haven't listened to you moaning on for years."

James shrugged. "I'm not moaning now, am I?"

"Exactly my point," Sirius said, raising a finger in the air. "And if you've finally won, we should all be able to join in the celebration."

"I haven't won, either," James said. "Maybe I'm just growing up."

Sirius stared at him. "It's like I don't even know you anymore," he said, shaking his head. "Next thing you'll be paying taxes and working for a living."

"That does tend to be the next step after school," James agreed.

"You know," Sirius said. "I'm not sure I can look at you right now. I think I'd like to be alone with the betrayal," Sirius said, covering his face with his hands.

"Right, well, _I'm_ going to Diagon Alley to look at Broomsticks-" James began.

"On second thought, I don't really need to look at you if there's a new model to check out," Sirius said, beating James to the door.

* * *

"Hey," James said, watching her walk over to him.

"Merlin, James, you're soaking. Why didn't you wait somewhere dry?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I don't mind the rain," he said. "Anyway, I thought I might miss you if I went to wait in one of the shops. And I know I'm not allowed in the bar."

She pulled out an umbrella, looking awkward. "This really isn't necessary, you know."

He took the umbrella from her, holding it above her head. "You've been saying that for more than a month now. My response hasn't changed."

"I'm just saying, when it's a night like this, there's definitely no reason for you to-"

"You saw that David bloke on the train last night, same as me," he said.

She sighed. "I told Paul about him last week. He isn't allowed in the bar any longer."

"Which makes it even more concerning he's riding your train," James pointed out.

She nodded.

"I'm not trying to make you nervous, Lily. I just want to make sure you're safe." He grinned. "Marauder's Honor."

"Is there such a thing?" she asked, brow raised.

He indicated the umbrella. "Evidence suggests."

"You make a fair point," she conceded, tucking her arm through his own. He loved it when she did that. She made it seem so natural. If he had tried, he'd have ended up botching the whole thing.

"So, how was it tonight?" he asked.

"James," she said on a sigh. "Why do you ask when we both know how you feel about it?"

He shrugged, an awkward movement with one hand holding the umbrella and the other arm tangled with hers. "Manners, I guess," he said after a moment.

"It was fine," she said, watching him close the umbrella. "Good tips." She laughed as they went down the steps to the underground. "There were these women out for a birthday. I think Tan wants them to apply for jobs. They were a laugh."

"What did they do?" James asked as they chose their seats.

"Oh," Lily said, waving it away. "Just dancing. Only they were funny about it. A lot of girls get up there and try to be as sexy as possible. This lot just wanted to have fun. You could tell."

He nodded. "So, do you and Tanya spend any time together outside of work?" he asked.

"Sure," Lily said. "We've gone shopping and had lunch a few times."

James smiled. "It seems like you really enjoy her," he said.

"Yeah," Lily agreed. "She's good fun. She has a great attitude, and she really looks out, you know?"

James nodded. "I'm glad," he said.

"So," Lily played with her fingers. For some reason, it always made him want to hold her hand. "Wild weather we've been having. I feel like we should be able to count on clear days in the middle of the summer."

James shrugged. "There has to be at least one fluke rainstorm," he argued.

"I suppose you're right," she agreed. "And I do feel like this happens every summer, where I'm annoyed with the weather for not being as perfect as I'd like."

"Just goes to show," James said, rising at their stop and offering his arm again. He thought he pulled it off quite well. "Never set your expectations so high you can only end up disappointed."

She nodded, watching him open the umbrella as they walked back out into the rain. "Is that your motto then?" she asked.

He shook his head, smiling. "I tried to convince my mum to make it hers, but she didn't bite. Apparently she thinks I'm fully capable of meeting her expectations."

"I'm sure you are," Lily said, elbowing him. "It's just a matter of prioritizing them over troublemaking."

He laughed. "That wouldn't have a good end either. I can just picture the obituary. _James Potter, killed by his best mate in a fit of rage. Reports suggest they fought about Mr. Potter's decision to study instead of pulling off a prank. Black does not express the least remorse._"

Lily laughed as they walked up the steps to her flat. "He wouldn't really," she said. "Sirius loves you. He wants you to do well."

"Not at the expense of all our fun," James said, shaking his head.

"Ah," she said, unlocking her door. She glanced back at him. "Do you want to come inside?" she asked. "You might be able to wait out the rain."

He blinked, trying to process her offer.

"Just to dry off, James," she added quickly. "I didn't mean-"

"No, yeah, I didn't think so," he said, stepping inside quickly.

"Umm . . . I'll go get you a towel," she offered, moving quickly over to the little bathroom. He saw her disappear inside for a moment. She reemerged holding a white towel. "Here," she said, handing it to him.

"Thanks," he responded.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm just going to grab some clothes to change into," she said. "The cuffs of my trousers got a bit wet from the walk."

He nodded, trying not to think about where she could possibly change in the tiny apartment. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she walked over to a wardrobe. She pulled out some soft-looking pants and a simple shirt and then disappeared back into the bathroom.

He took advantage of the opportunity to look around her place. She kept it very tidy, though she had so few possessions he didn't think it would be much of a challenge. Drying his wet hair absent-mindedly, he looked at some photos of Lily with her family.

She cleared her throat behind him and he spun around. He hadn't ever heard her come back out of the bathroom.

"Here," she said. "I've some trousers and a shirt that might fit you well enough," she said. "They'll be a bit big, but it's better than trying to stuff you into something of mine."

He nodded. "Are they your boyfriend's?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

She shook her head. "No," she said. "They're Joe's. He's one of the barbacks at the club," she explained. "He likes to go out around here. Every once in a while, he'll stay over here if he doesn't want to pay for the long cab ride home."

James walked over to the bathroom. He left the door open a crack so he could still talk to her and began changing.

"Does he usually leave his clothes behind?" James asked, striving for neutral.

She laughed. "No. He stayed over several times over the course of a week earlier in the summer. He got so much shite from everyone at the bar for always wearing the same clothes, he decided to just leave some fresh ones here."

"Smart," James said, coming back out of the bathroom.

"And it works out well for you," Lily agreed. "Do you want some tea?" she asked. "I don't want you catching a cold because your . . ." she grinned, "honor demands you walk me home every night."

He smiled. "A cup of tea would be great."

He enjoyed watching her bustle around by the kettle.

"Have you read any good books lately?" she asked.

He thought about it. "Maybe," he said.

"Maybe?" she asked, bringing the tea over.

"I haven't decided yet," he explained. "I read this book called 1984," he said, getting a nod from her. "And I'm not certain what I thought of it." He paused for a moment. "I liked it a lot, right up until the end. And then . . ."

She laughed. "I actually threw the book against a wall when I finished it," she said.

"That's how I felt," he agreed, widening his eyes for dramatic effect. "I couldn't believe it." He shook his head. "Makes me angry even thinking about it. How could he end it like that?"

"It's realistic," Lily said, after a moment.

James scowled. "Realistic is stupid then," he said.

She laughed. "Poor James."

He smiled, scrubbing a hand through his hair. He loved that he could make her laugh now, even if he hadn't exactly meant to.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said after a moment.

She smiled, sipping her tea. "Sure."

"How come you're living here?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he began to think he shouldn't have said anything. "I mean," he added. "I know about your parents. I just don't understand why you aren't living with your sister," he said, nodding at the photo he'd been looking at earlier.

She stared at her tea for a while. "Petunia and I," she said, and then broke off. "Petunia doesn't like me very much," she said.

"That's bollucks," James responded immediately.

"No, she really doesn't," Lily said, shaking her head. "It's true."

James messed up his hair. "No, I meant, it's absolute shite if she doesn't. It means she doesn't have any taste at all. I can't see how anyone wouldn't like you."

Lily smiled. "I bet you and Sirius go round about that one a lot, then."

James opened his mouth to deny it, but shrugged when he saw her look. "He just doesn't really know you."

Lily shook her head. "It's fine," she said. "I've spent a lot of time getting him in trouble. I can see why he wouldn't be overly fond." She sighed. "It's different with Petunia. We used to be close. But then," she shrugged, "I went to Hogwarts. She wanted to go too, but she wasn't magic."

"So she's jealous," James said.

Lily nodded. "I suppose so. And she has her life with Vernon," she rolled her eyes when she said the name.

"Her husband?" James asked.

"Yeah," Lily said. "They got married a few months ago, shortly after the funeral." She looked up at him. "She _did_ offer to have me stay with them. But I wouldn't have been happy there, and they wouldn't have been happy having me. We agreed to sell my parents house and split the money."

"But it's not enough to live on?" James asked.

Lily shrugged. "There's a lot of time between now and whenever I start my career. If I can't work during the school year, I at least want to make sure I earn as much as I can over the summer."

"You know, I could –"

"Don't, please. I really don't want anyone's charity," she said, eyes shining.

He nodded. "You know, I think you and Sirius would get along better than either of you expect, if you gave each other half a chance."

"Maybe," she said, clearly unconvinced. "How did your trip to Diagon Alley go, anyway?"

He settled in to tell her about it, still not quite able to believe that Lily Evans knew about his day to day activities, and seemed genuinely interested in hearing about them. Hearing _him_ talk about them.

* * *

_A/N: So, I thought about cutting some of that dialogue out. But it's the best way I could think of to show them becoming friends gradually. I don't want this to be the kind of story where something dramatic happens and suddenly she changes her mind about him. Anyway, hope it answered some of your questions about the background stuff anyway. _


	7. An Interesting Year

It was an odd thing, the way strange became normal and normal became strange. Lily thought about it as she made her way toward platform 9 ¾. Somehow over the summer she had become used to spending time with James Potter. Not arguing. Not cursing each other. Not silently ignoring him.

He walked her home. They chatted about books. They discussed school, and their futures, and their pasts. As the summer went on, she found herself walking more slowly, trying to prolong the interaction. When it rained, she jumped at the excuse to invite him in and wait out the weather.

And now she stood facing the train, thinking how much she preferred riding it with him when he took her home. She sighed. She wished she knew what to expect from him now. Would he go back to being a prat, now they were back in school? Or would he still hold doors for her, and talk to her about whatever new muggle item he had discovered while waiting for her?

Lily took a deep breath. _It would be what it would be_, she thought.

"Lily," she heard a voice shout. Turning, she saw Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes heading toward her.

She waved excitedly to them. "Hi," she called back. She greeted them both with hugs. "How was your summer?"

"My summer was fantastic," she heard a much deeper voice respond. "Now hugs all around." She turned to see Sirius Black trying to beg a hug off of Marlene and Dorcas at the same time.

James stood uncomfortably behind him. When Lily made eye contact, he did a half shrug, as if to say there was no controlling his best mate.

As Black went to hug Lily, she put her hand on his chest and pushed him a full step back.

"Oh, now we're the shy sort, are we? Here and I thought we'd be closer after all we shared this summer," he pouted. James elbowed him hard in the side. Lily heard him mutter something, but couldn't make out the words.

"What did you share this summer?" Marlene turned to Lily with a perplexed expression on her face.

"We ran into her out one night," James lied confidently. "Sirius seems to think it improved their relations."

"I'll say," Sirius said, wiggling his eyebrows and earning a kick from James.

At least Lily was lucky enough to be getting this crap from someone no one would believe.

"Right, well it was lovely to see you ladies, but I think I should get this one," James, said putting his hands on Sirius' shoulders, "off to a secure compartment before he digs himself a hole he can't get out of."

* * *

"Gerroff me," Sirius said, shoving James away once they were in the compartment.

James glared at him. "What's the matter with you?"

"Me?" Sirius said. "I'm not the one lying about my summer activities." He held up a hand before James could speak. "And I realize that could refer to you or Red, so I'll clarify and say I was pointing out Little Miss Perfect's diabolical ways."

James rolled his eyes. "She doesn't have diabolical ways. And can you please stop calling her that?" James asked.

"Probably not," Sirius said. "Old dog, new tricks. All that rot."

"Right," James said, giving up. "Sixth year. We need to get started on planning our welcome back prank."

"You're still in?" Sirius asked. "I thought you'd be on your best manners for LMP."

"LMP?" James asked.

"It's the best you're gonna get," Sirius said. "At least if I abbreviate, she can't overhear and get her panties in a twist."

"Lovely, Padfoot. Really lovely," James rolled his eyes.

Sirius grinned. "So you're still up for a bit of fun this year?"

"Course," James said. "I might refrain from hexing everyone that walks by, but pranks are a must."

"Excellent," Sirius grinned. "Let's find Moony and Wormtail. I've had plenty of time over the summer," he threw James an accusatory look, "to brainstorm on my own. I want to see what you lot think."

* * *

Lily watched as the Marauders took their seats at the Gryffindor table. They had that indescribable look about them that always meant they were in the middle of a prank.

She glanced around, hoping it wouldn't involve her in anyway. James smiled at her when she caught his eye. She looked back down at her food, wondering how she'd gotten to the point where James Potter could put her at ease with a smile.

"Lily?" Mary said. "Did you hear me?"

"What?" Lily said. "No, I'm sorry. I was distracted."

Mary raised her eyebrows. "Distracted looking at James Potter?"

Lily blushed. "I'm just wondering what they're planning."

Marlene and Mary both turned to look at the boys. Sirius saw them and winked. Then he blew them each a kiss.

"They really are insufferable," Marlene said.

Mary laughed. "I still think they're fit," she said.

Lily glanced at the boys surreptitiously. She couldn't deny that there was something about James. It wasn't exactly his looks. Just, something about him. Maybe the way he smiled. At her.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, trying to clear her head.

"Well," she said. "There's no sense worrying what they're going to do. We'll find out when we-" She broke off as a loud bang went off around the Slytherin table. Smoke immediately began billowing around it, obscuring the student seated at the table. When it cleared, each Slytherin wore a ridiculous set of women's clothing. Most were quite revealing.

"I guess that's our answer," Lily said, casting another look at James. He caught her eye and gave her a half smile. She thought she might like that one best, when it was just a quirk of his lips. And a slightly guilty look. She didn't know why the guilty look added to it. It should really detract. But there she was, returning his smile when she should be scolding him.

It was going to be an interesting year.


	8. Intentions

_About a month into the term . . .  
_

* * *

Lily saw Marlene look up from her studying when she walked into the dorm room.

"Hi," Marlene said. "I was just about to go look for you. Are you ready to go down to lunch?" she asked.

Lily blinked. "I just had lunch," she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were waiting for me."

"Who did you have lunch with?" Marlene asked, baffled. "Mary and Dorcas said they weren't going to go down until later."

Lily looked away, walking over to organize some of her books. "James," she mumbled.

"James Potter?" Marlene asked, voice rising.

Lily glanced over at her. "Yeah," she said.

"I thought you considered him worse than the giant squid?" Marlene commented, furrowing her brows.

Lily shrugged. "Either I've changed my mind or he's gotten better," she said.

"So, are you dating him now?" Marlene asked, sitting cross-legged on her bed.

Lily shook her head quickly. "No, not at all. I'd just say we're," she shrugged, "becoming friends, I guess."

"Friends?"

"Yeah," Lily nodded. "Friends."

Marlene gave her a look. "James Potter does not want to be your friend, Lily."

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear. "I think he does," she said. "Anyway, if you have a problem with his intentions, I suggest you take it up with him."

"Fine," Marlene said, jumping off of the bed. "I will."

Lily spun on her heel, chasing Marlene out the door. "I didn't mean that. I don't actually think you should say anything to him," she called.

Marlene didn't respond. Lily chased her down the stairs, throwing curses at her as they went. Marlene deflected them deftly. She bounded into the common room and skidded to a halt in front of James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Potter," she said.

Lily looked at James, mortified. "Come on, Marlene. I think it's time for you to take your medicine," Lily hissed.

James smiled in a cheerfully baffled sort of way. "What can I do for you, McKinnon?"

"You can tell me what your intentions are with Lily," Marlene said, despite Lily's frantic hushing noises.

James blinked. "Intentions?" he asked.

"He wants to shag her legless," Sirius said, glancing up at McKinnon with a bored expression.

Lily wondered if the scalding feeling in her face could actually do permanent damage.

"No," James began, and Lily's head snapped around to him. "I mean, yes. Well, I mean, she _is_ fit. But she's made it abundantly clear over a number of years she's not interested in going out with me."

"So your intentions are . . .?" Marlene demanded clarification.

James shoved his hands in his pockets. "Friendship?" he said in an uncertain voice.

"See?" Lily said, rounding on Marlene. "I told you. We're friends. Are you satisfied?"

"You can't be friends with someone you want to shag," Marlene said, standing firm.

"Well," James decided, rocking back on his heels. "Just because you apparently have no self-control –"

"I have plenty of self-control," Marlene snapped.

James nodded. "So then you'd be perfectly capable of being friends with someone who didn't want to be any more than friends with you."

"Of course."

"Good then," James said. "Now that that's settled," he glanced down at the table in front of them, "we were sort of in the middle of a game of cards. So unless you ladies were wanting to join us . . ."

"We'd be more than willing to play for forfeits," Sirius offered with a grin.

Marlene turned to Lily. "I'm not sure you have the best taste in _friends_," she hissed.

Lily gave James an apologetic look.

"I've been saying that for years," Lily heard Sirius mutter as they left the room.

* * *

_A/N: Some people have asked about the timing on this. It's sixth year, which is why they can't use magic out of school. The beginning of the story was set during the summer after fifth year. Which meant they were both sixteen. Lily will turn seventeen in January (I think). And James in March (again, that's my best recollection). And, while I know Sirius and Remus said they don't start dating until seventh year, that doesn't mean they hated each other all through sixth year. _


	9. A Christmas Carol

_December_

_

* * *

_

Time flew by. Lily's friends seemed baffled by the change in her relationship with James. But Gryffindor House in general embraced the lack of shouting. And her friends seemed loathe to press the issue anymore.

"You didn't answer my question the other day," Marlene was saying. "And a sneaky bit of avoidance it was," she added. "I didn't even realize you hadn't answered until after you'd fallen asleep."

"Sorry about that," Lily said, offering a compromising smile. "Why don't I help you with your Potions essay to make up for it?"

"That would be great. I was actually just thinking that –" Marlene broke off. "You've done it again, you cheeky little minx." She shook her head. "It shouldn't be this hard to pin you down. What are your plans for the Christmas holidays? And if you have none, would you like to spend them at mine?"

Lily sighed. She had been putting it off as long as possible. She hated lying to her friends. "That's a really sweet offer. But I think I'm just going to spend it with Petunia," she said.

Marlene nodded. "I thought you might say that," she responded. "Well, if you change your mind, the offer's always open.'

"Thanks," Lily said, nodding.

* * *

"So, Miss Lily," Sirius was saying. James glared at him. They both knew Miss Lily was Sirius's public way of calling her Little Miss Perfect. "Will you be joining us at the McKinnon's Christmas party?"

Lily shook her head. "No," she said. "I've had to decline." James noticed that she didn't look at him at all. In fact, she seemed to be studiously avoiding eye contact with him.

"What in Merlin's name would make you do that?" Sirius asked. "The McKinnon's have the best parties."

"Thank you, Sirius," Marlene said, clearly unsure how to take the compliment. "But Lily has decided to spend Christmas with her sister."

James watched Lily stare at her soup. He thought he understood why she was refusing to make eye contact now. Lily Evans had to be one of the worst liars on the planet.

* * *

_Christmas Break_

Lily sat on her bed reading _A Christmas Carol_. She had decided she needed to have a least one concession to the season. She looked up in confusion when she heard the doorbell.

Making her way over to the door, she tried to think who might be stopping by. After a moment's consideration, she decided it would be Joe. He would have gone out down at the bars by her flat, had too much to drink, and be looking for a place to crash. She glanced at the clock, ready to berate him for the late hour.

7:25. Not so late, after all. Baffled, she opened the door.

"James!" She immediately wished she wore something nicer than old sweats and a jumper.

"Hi," he said, smiling and looking awkward. "I, uh, I thought you might like some help decorating."

She looked behind him and saw he had dragged a large Christmas tree most of the way up her steps.

"That's very sweet, James. But I decided I don't want a big Christmas this year," she said.

He smiled. "It's not a big Christmas. Just a tree and some decorations."

"James."

"Lily." He grinned, holding eye contact. "Do you remember in first year, how you followed Filch around while he decorated? And how by fifth year, he left whole sections of the castle to you alone? And how-"

"I know I used to love Christmas, James, but . . . it's just different without family."

He nodded. "I can understand that. And I know you turned down all the invitations to Christmas dinner. But this isn't a big family thing, and it isn't something you have to get dressed up for, and it isn't something you have to put on a smile for. It's just me. And this," he said, gently moving her out of the way, "is what friends are for."

She watched him drag the tree inside. It lay across the length of most of her flat. Of course, she lived in a _very _small flat.

"Right," he said. He glanced around, scratching his ear. "Only, I'm used to doing this with people who can use magic." He turned to Lily. "How do muggles make the tree stand up?"

"With a tree stand," Lily said.

"Brilliant," he grinned. "Where's yours?"

Lily sighed. "I haven't got a tree stand, James. I wasn't planning on celebrating Christmas."

He nodded seriously. "That is a problem," he said. "Tell me, where would muggles get a tree stand?"

"At a shop, I suppose," Lily answered with a shrug.

"Excellent," he said, grabbing her hand. "We'll go to a shop then. I'm beginning to think we'll need ornaments as well."

"James," she said, digging in her heels.

He stopped, turning to look at her. "Please," he said. "Christmas is my favorite time of year because it's _your _favorite time of year. Your excitement is infectious." He gave her a puppy dog look. "Don't make me miss out on it too." He reached out and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

She tried to stay strong, but he looked so sincere that she couldn't manage. "Fine," she said. "One shop. One tree. One night."

"Fair enough," he said, grabbing her hand again and dragging her out the door, down the steps, and off along the street. "Where's the best shop then?" he asked.

"Several blocks in the other direction," she responded.

He stopped to grin at her. "Right then," he said. "I suppose I should let you lead." He didn't release her hand.

She didn't tell him to.

* * *

The moment they reached the shop, he dragged her off to the Christmas section. He picked up a small basket and immediately placed a tree stand in it. Then he began filling it with ornaments of all shapes and sizes. He had a vague hope that his excitement would spread to her this year.

"James," she said. "Be sensible please. I'm not spending a fortune on Christmas decorations."

"Of course not," he agreed. "It was my idea. I'm buying."

Lily gave him a look. "With what?" she asked. "They don't take Galleons."

"I know," he said. He lifted up a shiny angel. "What do you think?" Lily put her hands on her hips. "I think you're right," he said. "Too . . . childlike." He put it back on the shelf. After a moment, he glanced back at her. "I've been carrying muggle money since the . . ." he thought about it, "third night I walked you home. I can't exactly buy muggle books without muggle money, can I?"

She nodded, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Excellent," he said, walking over to a lit Christmas tree. "Does this run on electricity then?" he asked in a hushed voice.

She smiled. "Yes. You plug the fairy lights into the wall socket."

He nodded. "Perfect," he said. He walked over to the light display and began adding some to his basket. He had already filled it. "Here," he said. "Hold this, will you?" He shoved the basket into her hands, walking off to find another. It didn't take him more than a moment.

When he came back, she stood by a small display. It mostly held stars and angels. James guessed they were meant to top the Christmas trees.

"Do you see one you like?" he asked.

She looked over at him, shrugging. "We always had the same one," she said quietly. She smiled a watery smile. "It was an angel Petunia and I made when we were little." She shook her head. "I probably didn't help at all, really. I was so small."

"What happened to it?" he asked.

She lifted her shoulders sadly. "I'm not sure. I didn't think to take any of the Christmas decorations."

He put his arm around her, thought his heart would break when she laid her head on his shoulder. "We could make one, if you wanted," he offered in a quiet voice.

She shook her head. "No," she said. "It's one of those things that only works when you're a kid." She reached out and picked a star out of the display. "This will do." She smiled at him. "Thanks for the offer, though."

He nodded. "Well," he said. "You're the expert; what else do we need?"

She glanced down at his basket and laughed out loud. "I'm not sure we need half as many lights as you have," she said.

"We do," he responded, nodding seriously.

She smiled. "Alright," she said, tucking her arm into his. "Tinsel, I suppose then. And maybe a tree skirt."

"And candy canes," he added.

"Yes," she said, smiling. "Can't forget those."

* * *

_A/N Totally feeling the season. All I'm saying._


	10. Merry Christmas Indeed

When they got back to her flat, he immediately went to her record player and put on a Christmas album. She hadn't even seen him grab it.

She wanted to tell him to turn it off, but he was being so sweet, she couldn't bring herself to. She could always get rid of everything tomorrow, if it really bothered her. At least then he could feel like he'd made her holiday better.

She looked over at him, struggling to get the tree into the stand.

"Here," she said, kneeling down next to the tree to guide the stump into the stand. "There," she said. He straightened the tree and released it gingerly.

"Lovely," he decided. "Thanks."

"Yeah," she responded, awkwardly tucking her hair behind her ear. She hadn't realized how close he was. Or how good he smelled.

"Ornaments first?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Always lights first," she said, laughing when his eyes lit up. She didn't realize until he finished twining the first strand around the tree that he had no idea how electricity worked.

"Right," he said. "How do I make it light up?" he asked.

She tried very hard not to laugh. "Well," she said. "Generally people start by plugging the lights in. So that they don't," she gestured to the plug, which hung from the top of the tree, "end up with it too far away to reach."

He nodded. "That's a problem," he said. "I see that now." He turned to her. "What's a plug?"

She smiled. "Here," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him over to the socket. She took another strand of lights and demonstrated plugging it in.

He grinned. "That's fantastic. How does it work?" he asked.

She shrugged. "No idea."

He raised his eyebrows.

"It has something to do with power and electricity. But I don't really know. It's just something muggles take for granted."

He nodded. "Like wizards do magic."

"Exactly," she agreed.

He turned to the tree. "I guess I'll have to take that down," he said, not sounding the least bit bothered. He unwound the strand, plugged it in, and twined it back around the tree. He then proceeded to add far more lights than any reasonable person. Lily began to fear he would blow a fuse with it all.

"Alright," she said, when he reached for another strand. She laid her hand over his. "I think that's probably enough."

He didn't look convinced, but he nodded after a moment. "Ornaments?" he asked.

"I think that's a lovely idea," Lily said.

They decorated the tree, singing along with his Christmas album. Halfway through, they took a break for some hot chocolate. He seemed delighted when she suggested adding some candy cane bits.

By the time they were down to the final ornament, Lily had forgotten she didn't want to do this in the first place. She had forgotten that all the season had been doing up until tonight was making her miss her parents.

He lifted the star she had picked out. "Do you want the honors?" he asked.

She shook her head, feeling melancholy set back in. "No," she said. "I think tallest gets the right."

That hadn't been the rule when she had still had her family, she thought. When she was little, she and Petunia had taken turns. Her father would lift one of them high into the air and they'd get to place the little angel they had made right on the very top of the tree.

He nodded, either not recognizing the lie or deciding not to pursue it. Standing on his toes, he gently placed it on the top. "There," he said, turning to her. "What do you think?" he asked.

"I think it's lovely," she said, missing her old Christmas tree topper. Missing her family.

He smiled. "Good." He watched her for a moment. "You know, you'd be more than welcome at mine for Christmas," he said. "You could come over Christmas Eve and stay for Christmas dinner the next day."

She shook her head. "That's sweet," she said, rising on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. "I just . . ."she trailed off, unable to explain her feelings.

He nodded, pushing a bit of her hair behind her ear. "I know," he said. "I just didn't want you to miss out altogether."

She looked at him for a long time, long enough that it should have made them both uncomfortable. Then she leaned up and kissed him on the lips. After a moment, she felt his arms come around her back, pulling her closer. She wrapped hers around his neck, letting one hand slide up into his hair.

She blinked in surprise when he pulled away.

"I should go," he said, not really looking at her. He messed up his hair with one hand. Then he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Lily."

"Yeah," she said. "Merry Christmas."

She watched him walk to the door. With a wave, he strode out, hustling down the stairs. She stared at the door blankly. She had just kissed James Potter.

And he hadn't wanted her. Merry Christmas indeed.


	11. Wish He Would

Lily didn't look forward to riding the train back to Hogwarts. She knew she'd see James. And she had no idea how to deal with him. He'd spent years, _years,_ asking her out. And then when she kisses him, he completely rejects her.

She sighed. Apparently, when he had said he just wanted to be friends, he meant it. She would just have to embrace that. After all, she liked having him as a friend. And she shouldn't have been expecting him to want more.

Of course, she felt she had fairly good reason to expect him to want more. She clenched her teeth. Obviously he had decided she wasn't his type of girl after all. She should have figured that out from his reaction at the beginning of the summer.

She took a deep breath and walked into the station. She made directly to platforms 9 and 10 and strode through the barrier to platform 9 ¾. Immediately, she looked for Marlene. She refused to acknowledge that she also kept an eye out for a certain messy-haired boy.

She found Marlene chatting to Dorcas.

"Hi," Lily said, hugging them both. "How were your holidays?"

"Fantastic," Dorcas said. "Marlene's party was absolutely smashing. You should have seen her. She looked stunning."

Marlene waved the comment away. "Dorcas is being too kind. We missed you at the party, by the way."

Lily nodded. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"Don't be silly," Marlene said. "Tell us about your holiday with Petunia."

Lily shrugged, looking away. "It was fine. As normal as can be expected, I suppose."

"I can't imagine how bad her husband's family must be," Dorcas said, commiserating.

Lily fiddled with the sleeve of her sweater. "Oh, well, I try not to think about it too much."

She saw Dorcas and Marlene exchange a look, and knew they were trying to decide if they should just drop the subject altogether.

"So, should we expect you to sit with us, or are you going to run off to join James Potter and his friends?" Marlene teased.

Lily blushed madly. "I wasn't planning on it," she mumbled.

Marlene's eyes widened. Dorcas immediately seized Lily's hand, dragging her off to a compartment.

"Spill," Dorcas said, the moment they closed the door. Marlene nodded.

Lily sat down, drawing her knees up to her chest. "It was nothing," Lily said.

"I think we'll be the judges of that," Marlene decided.

Lily laid her head on her knees. "I might have kissed him," Lily whispered. She looked up in time to see Dorcas' mouth drop open.

"Might have?" Marlene asked, voice unnaturally high.

Lily nodded, dropping her forehead back on to her knees. "It was entirely his fault," she declared. "He came over to my flat, dragging a tree, and making me decorate it, and I just . . ." she huffed out a breath.

After a moment, Lily realized neither of her friends had spoken. She looked up to see them both staring at her.

"Your _flat_?" Marlene asked. "I thought Petunia and her husband had a house."

Lily opened her mouth to respond.

"Please don't lie," Dorcas requested in a quiet voice.

Lily closed her mouth. She tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just . . . I didn't want anyone to worry about me."

"We should be worried about you," Marlene shouted. "That's what friends are for."

Dorcas nodded. "There's a big difference between going home to stay with your sister on holidays and going home to an empty flat."

"And when did you even get a flat?" Marlene asked, hands on her hips.

Lily looked away. "Over the summer," she said. At the looks on her friends' faces, she rushed on to explain. "Petunia and I talked about it, and we both knew we wouldn't be happy living together. So I got a little place."

"And told James about it, but not us," Marlene pointed out.

Lily shook her head. "I didn't exactly tell him. He and his mates came into the bar I work at, and then he sort of . . . followed me home."

"Bar?" Dorcas asked.

"Followed you home?" Marlene squeaked.

Lily nodded. "I worked over the summer," she answered Dorcas' question. She turned to Marlene. "And it's not as bad as it sounds. James was just worried because there are a lot of blokes at the bar, and he didn't like the idea of me going home alone. He saw me home all summer. Honestly, it's very self-sacrificing of him. If I had realized he didn't even like me anymore, I definitely wouldn't have let him."

Dorcas looked baffled. "So, you wanted him to walk you home because you liked him?"

Lily shook her head. "No," she said. "Or at least, not at first. I just figured that since he liked me so much, he wouldn't see it as an inconvenience. But now that I know he doesn't like me, it's a whole different story. I feel terrible for making him take me home all summer."

Marlene stared at her. "Hang on. Let me get this straight. You have a flat. And you work in a bar. And James knows both these things. In fact, he regularly walks you back from the bar to your flat. And you like him. And you kissed him." She shook her head. "And I hadn't even realized we'd grown apart."

"We haven't!" Lily said emphatically.

Marlene only looked at her.

"I'm exactly the same person I was last year. Only I work over the summer – which is not unusual – and have my own flat. I'll admit there's no accounting for my feelings for James, but since he's made it perfectly clear he isn't interested, that shouldn't play into it at all."

Dorcas glanced at Marlene, and then looked back at Lily. "I think the thing is, you hid all this from us. We're not used to you acting like that. And," she glanced at Marlene again, "I guess we just don't understand why you didn't tell us."

"The bar's a little embarrassing," Lily mumbled.

"Why is it embarrassing to work in a bar?" Marlene asked.

Dorcas let out a huffy breath. "If it's Potter thinking it's menial, you can tell him where to shove his stuck up views-"

"No, it's not that. He's fine with it. Well, no, he hates it and it's probably why he doesn't like me like that anymore. But it's not because it's menial."

"Then what?" Marlene asked.

Lily blushed. "Part of the job is sort of . . . dancingonthebar," she spoke in a rush.

"Dancing on the bar?" Marlene repeated.

Lily nodded, embarrassed. "I didn't realize it was expected when I put in my CV. I was simply applying all around. But then the bartender who was getting ready to open liked me and decided to give me a shot. And, well, once I started . . . It's not as bad as it sounds," she declared. "It's like dancing at any muggle club. Only up on the bar. And you get lots of tips."

"Do you keep your clothes on?" Dorcas asked in an apologetic voice.

Lily nodded emphatically. "Of course," she said. "It's not as though we're strippers. We just dance around a lot. And, really, the women who come in dance on the bar as much as we do."

"Ok," Marlene said, obviously trying to process the information.

"Anyway, James claims he doesn't like it because he doesn't like seeing the old men drool over me, but I think it's probably more that I've marred his image of me as Little Miss Perfect."

"Is it possible you misinterpreted his reaction to the kiss?" Dorcas asked.

Lily shook her head. "I kissed him, and he pulled away and said he had to leave." She shrugged. "Not a lot of ways to interpret that."

"He didn't kiss you back at all?" Marlene asked.

Lily hugged her knees. "For a moment, right at first. But then I think he realized who he was kissing and tried to make the quickest exit possible."

Marlene and Dorcas exchanged looks again. "Well," said Marlene. "If that's the case, are you going to stay friends with him?"

Lily thought about it for a while. "I suppose so. It would be terrible of me not to want to be his friend just because suddenly I like him, when he was happy to be mine even when he liked me. Bit of a double standard. Especially given how publicly and harshly I rejected him. His reaction was at least polite."

Dorcas patted Lily on the knee. "He'll come back around," she said. "I'm not sure James Potter could function for any length of time without asking you out."

Lily sighed, pressing her forehead to her knees. "I wish he would," she whispered.


	12. January

_The First Day Back . . .  
_

"Alright, Lily?" James asked, slipping into a seat next to her. "Didn't see you at breakfast this morning. Or on the train back, for that matter."

Lily nodded, trying to decide what it meant that he had looked for her. "I'm grand, thanks. How was your holiday?"

James grinned. "Lovely," he said. "Spent time with family and friends," he gestured to her on the last word. "Nothing more you can really ask for from a holiday."

Lily smiled brightly with her mouth and tried not to wonder if her eyes showed her real reaction after his _friends_ comment. _That answers that question_, she thought, resigning herself to being nothing more than friends with him.

* * *

_A few weeks later . ._ .

Lily sat in Charms, watching James pass notes with his friends. She thought they sat in the front row just to show they could goof off without getting in a lick of trouble.

She saw him glance back at her, watched his hand come up to mess up his hair. She still hated when he did that, but now it was because she remembered what her hand felt like in his hair. He grinned at her. She faked a smile back.

They were damn near a month into the new term and things hadn't gotten any better. She had thought she would move one, get past it. But even when he was a prat she found herself wishing he would just ask her out.

But he'd made it abundantly clear he only wanted to be friends. At least it was only a few months to the Easter holiday. She could do with a respite.

* * *

_A few days after that . . ._

Lily went over spells in her head as she strolled down the hall. It may still be sixth year, but it was never too early to start studying for her N.E.W.T. exam.

She jumped nearly a foot in the air when someone touched her arm. She spun around, raising her wand –

And froze when she saw James Potter standing in front of her, arms lifted in surrender.

"Bloody hell, James," she cursed. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," he apologized, not looking the least bit contrite. "I was calling your name, but you didn't seem to hear me."

She nodded, looking away. She found it was the best way to keep from staring inappropriately at him. "Yeah, I was just . . . doesn't matter," she decided, not willing to openly admit she was the overachiever his friends had always thought her. "What can I do for you?"

He gave her a long look, one she couldn't quite interpret. Then he shook his head – a bit like a dog – and grinned. "Do you really not know what day it is?"

She smiled. "Certainly. It's Thursday."

"Thursday the . . ." he waited for her to answer. When she didn't, he shook his head again. "The 30th. Of January. As in the day you, Miss Lily Evans, first came into this world."

"Ah," she said, making eye contact for a moment. "That. Yes, I suppose it is," she agreed before looking away again.

"Still not interested in celebrating then?" he asked in a sympathetic voice.

She wanted to shout at him that she didn't want his pity, but she shrugged instead. "I imagine I'll do something tonight. Marlene and Dorcas aren't the sort to forget these things."

He nodded. "Well," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I wanted to get in ahead of the crowd. So I thought I'd give you my present now, if you have a minute."

"James, you really didn't have to-"

"I know," he said, smiling his smile again. "I wanted to."

She pushed her hair behind her ear, wanting to look anywhere but at him. "Sure," she said. "I have time."

"Great," he said, grasping her hand and pulling her back to the Gryffindor common room. "It's up in my dorm. I didn't think you'd want me to give it to you in the hall."

She nodded. "I appreciate that." She tried very hard not to appreciate the warmth of his hand as he dragged her through the portrait hole and up the stairs.

"Right," he said, releasing his grip when they got in his room. "It's right over here."

She waited, rubbing the hand he had been holding. She swore it was tingling. When he held a large wrapped present out to her, she took it gingerly. "You really didn't," she began again, but he waved her concern away.

"Just open it," he said, bouncing a bit. "I want to see if you like it."

"I'm sure it's lovely," she assured him, laying it gently on the bed. She carefully undid the wrapping paper. Realizing that it was a frame, she flipped it over to see what was inside. She stared at it for a long time.

"It's uh . . ." he began. "It's that one we walked by each night. You mentioned how you . . . well, that you liked it. So I thought . . ." he trailed off. She looked up to see him standing awkwardly with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"I didn't say I liked it," she corrected. "I said I'd fallen in love with it the first time I'd seen it."

"Yeah," he said, giving her another long look.

She wished she didn't always want to kiss him when he looked at her like that. She glanced away, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's very sweet, James. Far too expensive," she said, shooting him a quick look. She saw him shrug it off, and let out a sigh. "Far too much, but very, very thoughtful."

"Well," he said. "I figure there's a lot of empty wall space in your flat. I like the idea of helping you fill it."

She nodded. "Well, thank you," she said, looking back down at the painting. "Really.

"You're welcome," he responded, smiling again. "Really."

"Umm . . . well, I should probably put this in my dorm then," she said, needing an excuse not to be alone with him any longer. She thought she might try to kiss him again, and that had been far too disastrous an experience to repeat.

"Yeah, course," he agreed, walking her to the door. "I'm actually supposed to be in class right now anyway," he added with a cheeky grin.

She made an exasperated sound, and he laughed out loud as they parted ways.

"Hey Lily," he called, before he disappeared from sight.

"Yes?" she asked.

He smiled. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," she said, smiling and lifting the painting. "For everything."

He gave her a quick nod and gamboled down the stairs.


	13. A Poet

_February . . . _

Lily practically skipped down the hall, she was so pleased with her examination. She could officially apparate whenever she wanted.

Of course, as she lived in a place no one could apparate in or out of, it meant very little at the moment. But outside of school, the possibilities were endless.

She had been slightly annoyed that she had to wait more than a month between her birthday and the next testing date. But then, she had been one of the first among her friends to come of age. So she couldn't complain too much. And there really was nowhere to go when she was at Hogwarts.

She strolled down to the Great Hall, taking a casual seat next to Marlene.

"So?" Marlene and Dorcas asked at the same time.

Lily smiled. "I passed," she said. "I can't even believe how nervous I was. I couldn't stop my hands shaking. I thought I would mess something up for certain."

Sirius Black snorted in response. "What would you have to be nervous about?" he asked. "You practically mastered it in the first class."

"Everyone gets a bit nervous before examinations, Sirius," James said. "Even if they have absolutely no reason to worry," he added the last part with a smile for Lily.

"Right, well, it all worked out in the end," Lily said, smiling back at James quickly before turning back to Marlene and Dorcas. She ignored their sympathetic looks. She should never have told them about the stupid kiss.

* * *

_March . . . _

"James," Lily called, rushing to catch up with him.

He stopped, turning to her with a baffled look. "What can I do for you, Miss Evans?" he asked in a teasing voice. "Especially during first hour, when I understand you're expected in Arithmancy."

Lily blushed, fiddling with the strap on her bag. "Well," she said after a moment. "I figure that turnabout's fair play."

He gave her another baffled look.

"It's your birthday," she said. "So, I got you something."

He looked surprised. "I didn't realize you knew when it was. You didn't have to get me anything," he added immediately. "I got you the painting just because I wanted to. There's certainly no need to repay me with a birthday gift."

"I couldn't repay you if I wanted," she acknowledged ruefully. "I've a fairly good idea how much that painting cost. And . . . well, I tried really hard to think of something that would be equally thoughtful," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "But, I guess I'm not as good of a friend, because nothing came to mind."

He opened his mouth to defend her quality of friendship, which she _really_ didn't want to her, so she cut him off before he could even begin.

"Here," she said, handing him a package. "You haven't expressed any interest in it, but I think you'd like it if you gave it a try."

"Thanks," he said, smiling. He tore open the wrapping immediately, and examined the cover. "_The Complete Works of William Shakespeare_," he read.

"It's seems kind of silly," she said, "now I think of it, me giving you a compilation of _my_ favorite author's work, but he truly is fantastic. And you seemed to like reading over the summer, so . . ."

"No, it's great," he said. "And I do like reading." He looked up, smiling. "Should I just begin at the beginning, or is there a story you like best."

"Umm . . ." she thought about it for a moment. "It depends," she decided. "For comedies, I like _Much Ado About Nothing. _Well, I like them all," she clarified. "But that might be my favorite. And for tragedies," she considered, "I guess I've always been a sucker for _Romeo and Juliet._ As for the sonnets," she added, "I found myself reading 29 and 116 a lot over the summer."

"So he's a poet?" James asked.

Lily smiled. "It still amazes me that wizards know so little about muggle culture. He was a poet and a playwright in the sixteenth century. In my opinion, definitely the best writer in the English language. No one can compare," she said, shaking her head.

"Well," James responded. "With a recommendation like that, I'm sure to love it. Thank you," he added, smiling at her.

She nodded, looking quickly away before he could distract her too much. "I should," she gestured vaguely toward her arithmancy room. "Get to class."

He nodded.

"Happy Birthday, James," she said, before turning and hurrying off to her first lesson of the day.


	14. Easter Break

_Easter Break_

Lily climbed out of the cab and waved to Tanya. She stumbled slightly in the heels, but steadied herself and gave the departing taxi a thumbs up to show she was grand to make it up her steps and into her bed.

She stopped at the bottom of her stairs, seriously weighing the pros and cons of taking the bloody shoes off. Pro, less chance of falling down the steps. Con, the cold and rain would soak into her feet in moments. Sighing, she chose the riskier option. She started up the stairway, making very good use of the hand rail.

At the top, she jumped in surprise and nearly did fall down the entire flight of steps. "James!" she said, to the person huddled next to her door. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged, rising. "I came round because I thought you had mentioned something about picking up a few shifts over the holiday."

"I wasn't working tonight," she said. "Everyone is hanging onto their shifts for dear life these days, so I don't think I'll be able to pick any up. I just went out for a drink with Tan and them."

He nodded. "Sure," he said. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

She smiled, thinking his concern really was very sweet. "Do you want to come in?" she asked, struggling with her keys.

He took them lightly from her hand and unlocked the door. "You are alright, aren't you?"

"Certainly. Have I ever told you that I absolutely love strawberry daiquiris?" she asked, backing through the door. It turned out to have been a bad plan, as the damn shoes sabotaged her and caught on the door jam. She tripped and would have fallen on her arse if James' reflexes hadn't been so quick.

"Uh huh," he said, smiling slightly at her. "You seem top shape."

She blushed. "These damn shoes," she mumbled, as he helped her straighten. "They've been nothing but trouble. I should toss them straight in the bin."

He eyed the heels with an incomprehensible look. "That would be a shame," he said after a moment.

"So, ummm . . ." she began, searching for a topic of conversation. "How has your holiday been?"

He smiled at her. She had an almost irresistible urge to trace his mouth with her fingers. Something about his smile simply did her in. "Well," he said. "As it just began, I can't really say. The first day has been . . . unusual," he decided. "Yours seems to be off to a sparking start."

She realized a moment too late that her hand had moved of its own accord. She ran her thumb across his bottom lip. Deciding it was already too late to save face, she rose on her toes and replaced her hand with her mouth.

As he had before, he kissed her back for a moment. Then he pulled away, breathing deeply. "Right, well, you seem to be alright then. I should probably," he gestured vaguely at the door behind him, "go."

She stared at him, mortification beginning to set in. And if she felt this way despite the fuzzy state of her brain, she had a vague idea how much more she would regret it in the morning.

"Well, uh, have a good night then," he said, backing out the door. He closed it, and she heard him start down the steps.

She stumbled toward her bed, then stopped, pulling off her shoes. She chucked them, one after another, at the door he has just closed. _Bloody bastard_, she thought. Always winding her up and then leaving her feeling the fool.

She flopped onto her bed, covering her face with her pillow. _Please, please, please let it be a dream_, she prayed. Let her wake up in the morning on Joe's couch, with no chance at all she'd just thrown herself at James Potter. Again. And been rejected. Again.


	15. Back

He didn't come back around over the break. And she successfully avoided seeing him on the train. In fact, she didn't run into him at all until breakfast the first day back.

"How was your holiday, Lily?" he asked, sliding into the seat across from her. She was really starting to hate his ability to pretend she hadn't made an arse of herself.

"Fine," she said. "Yours?"

"Good," he responded, looking a bit uncomfortable. She felt a quick sense of satisfaction. She shouldn't be the only one to feel ridiculous right now.

She nodded, then set about eating her breakfast as fast as humanly possible. She really, really didn't want to talk to him at the moment.

"So, I started reading your book over the holiday," he said.

She stared blankly at him. "My book?" she asked.

"Shakespeare. The one you gave me. So, I guess I started reading _my_ book over the holiday," he clarified.

"What did you think?" she asked, shoveling porridge into her mouth. There was no answer she wanted to hear. If he didn't like it, she'd feel like an idiot for giving it to him. If he did, she'd end up sighing over his reaction, and she didn't feel like making an idiot of herself in front of everyone. Those moments were best left for just the two of them. And then, if she could have prevented them, she would have.

"It's really good," he said. "I like _Much Ado About Nothing_ better than _Romeo and Juliet._ I mean, all Romeo and Juliet had to do was communicate. And instead they both just . . ." he shook his head, trailing off. "Seems like a waste. I mean, he writes wonderfully, so I still liked it. I just would have liked a happy ending better."

"Them married with children?" she asked.

He nodded, smiling slightly. "Sirius tells me I'm too in touch with my feminine side."

She smiled slightly when he blushed, apparently realizing that it may not have been the best comment to repeat.

"And I really like the sonnets," he said. "The whole way he writes really is beautiful."

She realized she was staring at him and gave up on finishing breakfast. "I'm glad you like it," she said. "I should get to class though. I'm running late."

"You've forty minutes until first hour," he pointed out, as she grabbed her bag.

"I know, but, see, I meant to be early, so I'm running late for being early, and I really should go, or I'll be late – for being early – which was my plan. To be early, not late," she rambled, thinking it made perfect sense he wasn't interested in her when she ran around saying things like that.

She waved cheerfully and tried very hard to ignore his bemused expression.

* * *

It went on like that for the rest of the year: her avoiding him; him looking at her with a baffled expression.

She would have felt bad for his obvious confusion and concern is she didn't always get so bloody embarrassed all the time.

At least her friends had accepted it well enough. They seemed to consider the failure of their friendship an inevitable conclusion to the Christmas kiss. She hadn't event told them about Easter. It was far too humiliating. She'd always considered herself the sort who could take a hint.

And she certainly had this time. Well, she did her best at any rate. Her complete lack of self-control motivated her to continue avoiding him whenever she thought it time to give friendship with him another chance. Which is to say, whenever he cheerfully approached her in a friendly manner, she thought about kissing him. And then made tracks in the opposite direction as fast as possible.


	16. Mad

_Summer_

She came out of her first night back at the club with quite a lot of cash. A lot of the regulars had apparently missed her over the school year. She made up lies about being away at University. Marlene and Dorcas might have had a point. She seemed to lie startlingly well these days.

"You up for a drink tonight then, love?" Paul asked nudging her.

She shook her head. "I'd love to another time, but tonight I'm exhausted. All I want to do is go home and collapse into my nice soft bed."

He sighed, wrapping his arm around her. "What is this? I'll bet you haven't worked a day since you've been gone. And you only opened. I don't believe your claims for a minute."

She laughed. "Maybe it's opening," she said. "It's all go, go, go. No time to wind down. It's hours earlier than I used to finish, but I'm twice as tired."

He nodded. "Sometimes the mind plays tricks on you, I guess." He steered her toward the train. "Do you want me to take you all the way home then, with your lad out of the picture?"

She tossed him an irritated look and took his arm at the same time. "He was never 'my lad' and I'm perfectly capable of seeing myself home."

He smiled slightly. "As you like. I've learned better than to argue with stubborn women."

"Smart man," she said, as they walked down to the underground. "Thank you for taking me to the train," she added, giving him a little wave as she released him and moved toward the train.

"My pleasure," he called back, returning her wave and heading back up the steps.

She kept her wand close at hand, conscious that she should actually keep an eye out. She'd never been as paranoid as James, though.

She couldn't decide if she was relieved or disappointed that he hadn't shown up to walk her home tonight. She had been putting him off ever since the Easter holiday. But usually he persevered despite her every attempt to rebuff him.

Of course, that had been when he wanted to go out with her. Now that he simply wanted to be friends, he might not be so diligent.

She hopped off the train at her stop, hurried down her street, hustled up her steps, and collapsed into her bed as promised. After a moment's deliberation, she kicked off her shoes. Sighing, she also dragged off her jeans and shirt. Home sweet home, she thought, burrowing into the covers and drifting off to sleep.

* * *

She woke to banging at the door. She looked at her clock. 3:07 am. She hid her face under the pillow, thinking she would absolutely kill Joe. Her first night back, when all she wanted to do was sleep, and he had to show up at her flat in the middle of the night wanting a place to crash.

Making an angry sound, she rolled off the bed and stomped over to the door. "Are you out of your mind?" she shouted at him. And then she realized that him was not Joe, but an irate James.

"Pretty damn close," he growled. "I thought you worked tonight! I waited until the place shut completely and everyone left before I realized you weren't there," he shouted.

"I was early off," she responded. "I left at eleven."

"You never finished until one last summer," he said, still looking furious.

She glared at him. "Well, that was last summer. And I don't know why you were there in the first place. I'm fully capable of taking care of myself."

"Back to this are we?" he spoke through clench teeth.

"Look, I was fine with you walking me home when I thought you were using it as an excuse to be around me. Now that I know you don't like me anymore, there's no way I'm inconveniencing you like that." She looked back at the clock. "Though, at the moment it seems you're the one inconveniencing me."

"Am I supposed to apologize for being worried?" he snarled. "Add it to the list of things I've someone how done wrong without even knowing it?"

"You've woken me up at 3:00 am to shout at me for not waiting to have you woke me home!" she returned. "That doesn't seem a bit mad to you? Especially when I obviously got myself home safe enough."

He made a choking sound. "Safe enough?" he shouted. "You do realize you answered your door in your knickers, yeah? It's like trying to look after a small child that thinks it would be fun to jump straight into a fire."

She looked down, yelping when she realized she actually hadn't put any clothes on when she'd crawled out of bed. "I thought you were Joe," she muttered, stepping further into the apartment and grabbing the sheet off the bed to wrap around herself.

James furrowed his eyebrows. "Thought I was Joe," he repeated. "The one who leaves his clothes here?"

She nodded. "He's the only person I know rude enough to wake someone up in the middle of the night for no good reason," she snapped.

"No good reason?" he hollered, gesturing to her. "You answered the door – in your skivvies – without having any idea who it was," he shouted, waving his arms wildly. "And I'll bet your wand was nowhere near you," he added, obviously furious. "But being concerned for your safety _wasn't_ a good reason. A muggle could have bested you, let alone a bloody Death Eater."

"That's none of your concern, Potter," she responded, grasping desperately at what was left of her dignity.

"Potter, is it?" he growled. "And why was it my concern last year but not this year?"

"Because last year I liked having you around. Now I don't want you anywhere near me," she shouted. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want you to walk me home. I don't want you in my apartment. And I don't bloody want to be friend with you," she practically screamed, near tears.

* * *

_A/N - I'm a terrible person. I know. But I'm not posting the next chapter until I've had at least a few people shout at me for leaving it here. _


	17. Murky

_Last time on [insert favorite soap opera here] . . ._

_

* * *

_

_ "Potter, is it?" he growled. "And why was it my concern last year but not this year?"_

_ "Because last year I liked having you around. Now I don't want you anywhere near me," she shouted. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't want you to walk me home. I don't want you in my apartment. And I don't bloody want to be friend with you," she practically screamed, near tears._

_

* * *

_

For whatever reason, her shouting seemed to calm him down. He scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Will you at least tell me what I did?" he asked in a soft voice.

"What you did?" she repeated.

He nodded. "What I did? Whatever I fucking did to piss you off?" he asked in a barely controlled voice. "I thought things were going well. I thought we were friends."

She made a choking sound. "I don't want to be friends with you, James. How can you not see that? I kissed you. Twice. Bloody threw myself at you, and you just pretended nothing happened. Twice. Of course I don't want to be friends with you."

He blinked at her. "You're pissed at me because you kissed me?" he tried to clarify.

"Arrghh . . ." she growled in frustration. "I get that it's not fair. I get that you liked me for years when I didn't like you back, and I should be at least as class as you were. But I'm not. I can't. I'm sorry. I know you have every right not to like me with my job and all, but –"

"I don't give a shit about your job," he interrupted.

She gave him a disbelieving look.

"Fine," he said. "I hate your bloody job, but it doesn't affect my opinion of you."

"Well, whatever did," she said, waving it away. "I know it's not your fault, and that I have no right to be angry. And honestly, I'm not. I just don't want to . . ." she shrugged, "be around you."

"Because you think I don't like you?" he asked.

She nodded, looking away. "I know I rejected you much more publicly and . . . brutally, but I can't help how I feel," she said quietly.

"I didn't reject you," he responded in a baffled voice.

She covered her face with her hands. "James. I kissed you. Twice. And you said you had to leave. Twice. I don't understand why we have to keeping going over this."

"You kissed me once when you were upset about not having anyone to spend Christmas with and once when you were pissed. Do you really think I'm the sort of bloke that's going to take advantage of you when you're vulnerable or falling down drunk?"

She stared at him, not sure how to respond.

"Apparently that's a yes," he said, obviously irritated again. "Do you really think that little of me?"

"I think if you were interested, you would have asked me out afterward. Either time," she spoke slowly.

"I thought if you were interested, you would have given me some sign when you weren't in a bad way," he returned.

"So . . .?" she wasn't quite willing to ask.

"So this is why you've been pissed at me all term?" he asked. "Because you thought I didn't like you anymore?"

She nodded. "It's not as though you seemed to mind asking me out every day in fifth year?" she said, attempting to defend herself. "I think I had good reason to feel you'd changed your mind."

He shook his head. "I hadn't," he told her. After a moment, he rubbed a hand over his face. "Bloody hell," he mumbled. "When did you start up with this Joe bloke?" he asked in a defeated voice.

"Joe?" she repeated, shocked. "There's nothing going on with Joe. He's just a friend."

"That you don't mind seeing you in your skivvies," he said, disbelieving. "Who leaves changes of clothes at your flat."

She smiled slightly. "Let's just say, Joe would be more likely to take an interest in you than me." She laughed when his eyebrows shot up into his hair. "Sorry I shouted at you," she said after a moment.

He shook his head. "I'm more concerned that you walked home by yourself."

"Paul took me as far as the train. And I kept my wand close by the whole time. You really don't have to worry," she assured him. "I can handle myself. There's no reason for you to be put out."

"I thought you didn't mind me walking you home as long as you knew it was an excuse to spend time with you," he said.

"Is it?" she asked in a very quiet voice.

He smiled. "Whoever would have thought Lily Evans could be this thick?" he commented.

Before she could respond, he pulled her close and covered her mouth with his. She closed her eyes, sinking into it. After a moment, he pulled back.

"Clear enough?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Still a bit murky," she responded.

He leaned forward, kissing her again. She angled her mouth, enjoying the feel of his more than she'd ever imagined. Again, he pulled away too soon.

"Now?" he asked.

"Hazy," she said. "Still very hazy."

He smiled, leaning in to kiss her again. This time he didn't stop for a long, long time.

* * *

_A/N Do you forgive me for the totally unnecessary but still awesome cliffhanger now? In my defense, I hadn't intended to do it. But then when I was editing and I got to that spot, I couldn't stop myself. If I were a TV producer, that's totally where I'd end the episode. And then you would have had to wait at least a week to find out what happened. _


	18. Harm

"So, let me get this straight," James said, glancing around Sirius' new flat. "Your uncle left you a massive inheritance?"

"Great uncle, actually," Sirius corrected.

James nodded. "Right. Great uncle. So, instead of living with us, you're going to move in here."

"That's the plan," Sirius said. "Listen, mate, you and your folks have been great. I just feel like I'm ready to be on my own."

"Isn't everybody?" James muttered.

Sirius gave him a slightly confused look, but apparently decided to ignore him. "What do you think?" he asked, gesturing to the flat.

James did a full circle, eying the place cautiously. "I almost hate to admit it, but it's not bad." He clapped Sirius on the shoulder. "I'm going to miss you, mate."

"Don't get weepy, Prongs. You'll see me as often as you ever did. Especially if you're going to spend the whole summer trailing after Evans again. Like a moth to the flame, you are."

James thought about telling him what had happened the night before, but decided it was too new to risk it.

"I think you'll be the bigger problem on that front," he said. "My mum's convinced you're only getting this place so you can take witches home without having to sneak them past her and my dad."

"You're mum's a smart woman," Sirius commented with a wicked gleam in his eye.

James shook his head. "Just try not to get into too much trouble, yeah?" he said. "If we want to join the Order of the Phoenix, we need to convince Dumbledore we're responsible."

"He's too smart to fall for that tosh, James. Anyone can see we're complete louts," Sirius joked. At James' look, he rolled his eyes. "No bloody sense of humor. Dumbledore would have given me a chuckle for that one." He shook his head. "I take getting into the Order seriously, mate. Honest. And I don't think Dumbledore's going to keep me out just for having a quick tumble now and again."

"Fair enough," James decided.

Sirius gave a sharp nod. "So, where first? Florean's, you think?" He shook his head after a moment. "No, you're right. We'll have better luck picking up birds at the Leaky Cauldron."

James laughed. "You might. I've no intention of trying."

"Of course not," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "None could possibly compare with Little Miss Perfect."

"Sirius," James warned.

Sirius lifted his hands in surrender. "Find. All you have to do is be my wing man. It's easier for a pair of blokes to talk to a pair of birds than for one lad to star up a conversation with a girl."

James hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. He didn't see any harm in it.

* * *

_A/N – I know it's short, but I try to end chapters based on scene breaks or POV changes, and this one just happened to be a short one. I thought about cutting it altogether, but I like Sirius too much to do that. Anyway, the next one should be up pretty quick. _


	19. Seems Like

She walked out to find him reading the book she had given him. She took a moment to watch him before approaching. He looked so engrossed. Somehow his face always seemed more compelling when he didn't know anyone watched him.

He glanced up before she had much time to study him, however. Of course, then he smiled at her, which might have been better.

"Hey," he said as she walked over to him.

"And how are you tonight, James Potter?" she asked.

He pulled the ribbon that marked his spot into place and then closed the book. "It's a funny thing," he said. "But somehow, my night always seems to improve right about now."

She smiled. "Is that a fact?" she asked, sliding her arm through his.

"Yeah," he nodded seriously. "I think it's something to do with the temperature."

She hit him, but he only laughed in response.

"How was Sirius' flat?" she asked.

He smiled. "Not bad. It's strange, him moving out on his own. I guess I have the advantage of knowing it's worked out well for you."

"Are you going to walk him home as well?" Lily asked.

James laughed. "Given that half his motivation – maybe more than half, now I think of it – for moving out is to have a place to bring girls . . ." he shrugged. "Somehow I don't think he'd appreciate me tagging along."

"No, somehow I doubt that," she said.

"No that it stopped him from making me play wing man all day," he grumbled as the stepped onto the train.

She turned and eyed him carefully. "Wing man?" she asked.

He nodded, apparently unconcerned. "He says it's 'easier for two blokes to talk to two girls' or some tosh like that." He shook his head. "Seems silly to me, but I guess he'd know better."

Lily tilted her head, considering him. "So, you spent your day chatting up fit girls?"

He blinked. "I wouldn't call them particularly fit, no," he clarified. "His usually were, but since I'd said I wasn't interesting in picking up girls, he didn't bother holding out for a fit pair."

"I'm not sure if that's comforting or insulting," she said after a moment.

He raised his eyebrows. "Why would it be either?" he asked, as they stepped off the train and began the short walk to her apartment.

"I suppose I don't like the idea that you're quite that superficial," she said. "And I'm not sure how I feel about you chatting up other girls."

"I'm not superficial," he declared.

"You just broke all the girls you spoke to today into two categories: fit and not fit. That's not superficial?"

"All people break down into those categories," he said, following her up the steps. "It doesn't mean I dislike the ones who aren't fit."

"So you spent the day chatting up girls you liked," she clarified, unlocking the door.

He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. He looked at her for a long moment. "I know I'm in trouble, but I'm really not sure why," he said finally.

She sighed. "You don't see why it might bother me that you ran around hitting on other girls all day?"

"You spent the evening dancing on a bar so dodgy old men could drool on you," he returned.

She snapped her mouth closed, glaring at him. "Maybe you should go," she said after a moment, glancing away.

"No," he said. "That's ridiculous. I don't care about the dodgy old men. I know you aren't interested in them. Just like you should know I don't want any of Sirius' birds."

"Should I?" she asked.

"Bloody hell, Lily. I spent all of fifth year throwing myself at your feet, only to have you trample over me every chance you got." When she opened her mouth to reply, he held up a hand to stay her response. "I'm not saying you didn't have good reason. I'm only saying it didn't stop me from continuing to humiliate myself over you on a daily basis. And sixth year I spent trying to be friends with you, so you'd realize I wasn't a complete prat anymore. And here we are, one day into actually dating and you're angry that I chatted with some girls I wasn't the least bit interested because my best friend asked me too?"

"Right, well, when you say it like that, it sounds silly," she mumbled.

"It is silly," he agreed. "I like you, Lily Evans. I thought we'd sorted that out."

She smiled. "Maybe I need a refresher," she suggested.

"Seems like," he agreed, leaning in to kiss her.

She decided she really, really liked not being friends with him.


	20. Comfortable

_A short while later . . ._

"So, who are we going out with again?" James asked, watching Lily do her hair.

She met his eyes in the mirror. "Tanya, Joe, and Paul," she said.

"Ah, the famous Joe," he responded.

She gave him a look. The meaning came through loud and clear as it reflected back at him from the mirror.

"I'm just curious," he said. "I'd like to meet the bloke who leaves his clothes in my girlfriend's flat."

"Don't tell me you're still mad about me opening the door in my knickers," she sighed.

He shrugged. "I just don't see how you can be sure he's gay. It's probably a ruse to get girls to trust him."

"It's not a ruse," she responded in a tone of absolutely certainty. "And just because _your_ friends would pull that sort of thing-"

"Who said my friends would pull that sort of thing?" he asked.

She thought about it. "Me, I guess," she replied, grinning.

"I think if you got to know them, you'd actually be surprised how much you like them," he said.

She sighed. "And I'm willing to try," reminded him. "But not until we're back at school. I want to make sure we last the summer before we tell everyone."

"Remind me why that is," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She tilted her head up, kissing him lightly. "Because I remember how it felt to have Marlene and Dorcas shoot me sympathetic looks every time you came in the room, and I'm not in any hurry to experience an intensified version of it."

"Do you think we won't make it?" he asked, sweeping her hair aside and dropping a kiss onto her neck. He watched in the mirror as her eyes fluttered closed. "Lily?"

"Ummm . . ." she mumbled. "I'm sorry. You distracted me. What was the question?"

He smiled, combing his fingers through her hair. "I asked if you think we'll make it."

She nodded. "Probably, but I also thought you liked me the first time I kissed you. And that's what led to all the pity from my closest friends."

"I did like you the first time you kissed me," he reminded her.

She smiled. "I know that now, but I didn't then. And the whole thing was a very scarring experience." She turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm not asking you to keep this a secret forever. I'm only saying I'd like to wait to tell everyone until we get back to Hogwarts."

He nodded. "Ok," he said, leaning his forehead against hers. "So, is there anything I should avoid mentioning tonight?"

"Hmm . . ." she said, fingers playing in the hair at the back of his neck. "Anything to do with magic," she decided.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Because my understanding was that the best way to maintain our low profile as wizards was to tell everyone all about how we can do magic."

"Funny boy," she said, kissing him firmly and turning back to the mirror.

He laughed, wandering out to lay on her bed. He could still see her from there. He stretched, enjoying how comfortable he'd become in her flat over the summer. Dating Lily Evans had more than lived up to his fantasies.

* * *

_A/N – I haven't written anything else on this story yet, so I thought I'd take a quick poll before I dive back in. Would you prefer that I spend some time with them over the summer, with James getting to know her muggle friends and her muggle self? Or would you rather I just skip the summer and take them back to Hogwarts for seventh year?_


	21. Friends

They met up with her friends at a little pub nearby. James spotted Paul and Tanya. The other one he didn't recognize. He was of relatively average height, with dark hair and a friendly smile. James didn't see anything right off that made him believe her claim that Joe – who the third person had to be – was gay, but he decided he should give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Ah, we meet your boy at last," Tanya said, kissing James on the cheek. He glanced at Lily to see if she had a problem with it, but she was busy exchanging kisses with Joe.

James gritted his teeth. He didn't see how she could have fallen for a line like that if the bloke went around trying to kiss her.

James held out a hand for him. "I'm James. Lily's boyfriend."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "In case you thought he was the other James. You know, the one I just use for sex," she told Joe, who laughed.

"Darling, if I were you I'd use this one for sex," Joe said, looking James over.

James took a full step back in retreat. "Yes, well. Luckily, she's her, and you're you, and I'm me. So, there's no problem."

Tanya laughed. "Yes, that is lucky." She turned to Joe. "You're scaring the poor boy."

"Oh, maybe he likes to be scared. I'll play any game he wants," Joe said, winking at James.

"Umm . . ." James said, looking to Lily for help. Unfortunately for him, she just laughed.

"You should see him with his mates at school, Joe," she said. "They're always touching each other, and 'wrestling' on the ground."

"Oh, be still my heart," Joe breathed, clasping a hand to his chest. "Tell me you have pictures. Or better yet, video."

Lily shook her head. "Well, now, if I ever get one, I'll know where to market it."

"Lily," James said, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward him. He may have put her between himself and Joe, but he didn't consider it an act of cowardice. If the man was gay, he'd consider her a barrier, not a target.

Lily kissed James lightly. "He's teasing you James," she told him, smiling. "The thing about gay men, is they have an excellent radar for picking out other gay men. I'm sure you didn't set his off." She glanced at Joe for confirmation. "Or should I be worried?"

He shook his head. "Straight as an arrow," he said. "Much to my sorrow." He sighed dramatically. "_Such_ a waste."

"Speak for yourself," Lily said, pulling James into a seat next to her. She nodded to Paul. "You two have met, yeah?"

"Couple times," Paul said, shaking hands with James.

"Good to see you again," James said, aware that he probably still seemed uncomfortable around Joe.

"So you two go to Uni together?" Tanya asked.

Lily nodded. "Yep," she lied easily. "James isn't exactly what you'd call a scholar though, so I'm sure he'd rather hear about you lot."

"Hey, now. I'm at least competitive with you in all of our classes," James defended himself.

"Yes, well that fact that you can do so well without ever apparently putting in any effort is still a sore spot with me," Lily told him. She shook her head. "Anyway, I meant you don't _like_ studying, or talking about studying."

James nodded. "Fair enough," he said. He didn't know what a "uni" was anyway, so he probably shouldn't press the issue of whether or not he'd want to talk about studying, if studying were a part of a "uni."

"Well," Joe said, "there's not much to tell. Tan and I have been friends forever, which is how I met our Lily here. Paul, Lily and Tan all work together." He smiled at James. "Now tell us about Uni. Do you play football?"

James looked to Lily for help. He had a vague idea that football may be a bit like quidditch, but he didn't see how that could be possible. Obviously the brooms, bludgers, and snitch would be out. That just left the quaffle, some goals, and a pitch. Which would make for an incredibly dull game.

Lily shook her head. "James is more the . . . bookish type. Even if he doesn't like to read the textbooks for class. Haven't you been reading Shakespeare lately?" Lily prompted him.

He nodded eagerly, excited to finally have found a topic he could discuss. "Yeah, he's fantastic. I'm surprised more people don't read him."

The three muggles stared at him blankly. "They require it in secondary school," Tanya said after a moment.

"Yes, of course," James said, groping for a way to recover. "I meant voluntarily. I'm surprised more people don't choose to read it on their own."

Joe nodded. "It's beautiful, isn't it? I love watching it on the stage though. It's so much better in the flesh than on the page."

"I haven't seen it performed," James told him, getting a shocked gasp in return.

"How can you not have seen it?" Joe asked. "Any?"

James glanced at Lily. "I think maybe he was born a cretin," she offered helpfully.

"Ah," Tanya said. "At least he's evolved since then. Paul still won't read – or even go see – any Shakespeare."

James watched them exchange a look. He'd have to ask Lily later if Paul and Tanya were a couple. They certainly seemed that way at the moment, but he had never heard Lily mention it. And he was absolutely certain it was against the rules at the bar. Something to keep an eye out for over the course of the night, at any rate.

For now, it was time to order drinks. The rest would come later.


	22. Beer

James ordered the same beer that the rest of the table did. He was a bit baffled when the server brought them something that looked nothing like the butterbeer he had expected. Always game, he took a big gulp. And nearly spit it out across the table. Eyes watering, he managed to choke it down.

Joe laughed. "Absolute shite, isn't it? But it's the cheapest they have on tap, and it'll do the job."

"Quit your whinging," Paul said. "It's fine."

Lily gave James a sympathetic look, but sipped comfortably on the bitter drink.

"What's your poison then?" Tanya asked James.

He shot Lily a concerned look. Bloody hell, now he had to wonder if muggles really drank poison. Lily smiled encouragingly, and he decided it must just be a phrase.

"James is more of a mixed drink kind of lad," she said.

Joe smiled. "Is that a fact?" he asked in a pleased tone.

Tanya laughed. "Just because a bloke likes mixed drinks doesn't mean he plays for your team, Joe. You've already pronounced him 'straight as an arrow', remember?"

"Room for improvement, Tan. Room for improvement," Joe told her cheerfully.

"What's that supposed to mean?" James asked, eying Joe with suspicion.

Paul rolled his eyes. "It means you drink like a woman."

James shrugged. "I think it means this beer tastes like piss."

Tanya laughed. "You can't argue that one, Paul. I've heard you say it." She patted the big man's knee. "Now why don't you ask about his intentions toward Lily, so you can stop playing the protector role?"

James saw Lily glance at him and smile lightly.

"Right then," Paul said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "What are your intentions towards our Lily?" he asked. "Because if you think," he continued, raising a finger, "that her dancing on the bar means-"

"I think it means she's got a job that involves dancing on a bar. And mostly she leaves thinking the men were idiots and the women were a laugh," James told him.

Paul nodded slightly. "And as to your intentions?" he asked.

James opened his mouth, unsure of how to answer.

"He wants to know if you're just after shagging her or if you're the marrying sort?" Joe explained helpfully, swirling his beer around and staring at it with a critical eye.

"Right, well, seeing as we're only-" James began, but Lily cut him off.

"James is right," she said. "We're only nineteen. I think it's really off of you to ask about marriage Paul. Unless you don't mind me asking the same thing of you. In front of Tanya . . ."

"Tanya knows I'm not just after shagging her," Paul said, obviously annoyed.

Aha, James thought. So they were dating. "And Lily knows I'm not just after shagging her," he said.

Lily smiled at him slightly. "It was hard to tell. I mean, you only spent _years_ trying to get me to go out with you. Maybe if it had been decades," she said, taking his hand.

He twined his fingers with her, pleased with her teasing note.

"So you two knew each other before Uni?" Joe asked, leaning forward.

James glanced at Lily, who nodded. "We went to secondary school together as well," she answered. She looked over the level of each person's drink. "Another round, shall we?"

* * *

_A/N – I know it's wicked short. I think I meant to put this in the last chapter. I decided it was better to post it as a short chapter than cut it all together just because I didn't include it last time._


	23. Cheating

James had nursed his beer for quite a while. Then he had nursed a whiskey, which didn't compare any better to firewhisky than their 'beer' compared to butterbeer. The end result was an entirely sober James shepherding an entirely pissed group of Lily's friends back to their respective flats.

He thought they had managed to avoid letting anything slip. Lily apparently had the ability to lie so well she could do it half blind. And James hadn't gotten drunk enough to drop his guard at all.

Still, he found himself relieved to be helping her up the steps to her flat. He had liked meeting her friends. He liked being introduced as her boyfriend. And he liked watching her behave as though the world didn't revolve around her next exam. But he could do with a rest.

"Do you have the keys?" he asked, as they reached her door. He smiled when she simply handed him her purse. He dug through it until he located them. Unlocking the door, he ushered her inside.

"Did you have fun?"she asked, running her hands down the front of his shirt.

He nodded. "Yeah. They were nice. And I now officially believe you that Joe would be more interested in me than you."

She laughed. "Well, he has good taste," she said, nipping at his bottom lip.

James thought maybe he didn't need to rest after all.

"You think?" he asked,

She nodded, making quick work of his buttons. "It's something about your smile, I think," she said.

"My smile? Not my dashing good looks?" he teased.

She shook her head. "No, Sirius is the one with the dashing good looks-"

"Excuse me?" he said, pulling away. "Did you just say you fancy Sirius?"

"No," she said, staring at him in confusion. "I said Sirius is the one with dashing good looks. You're more . . . real," she decided, cocking her head slightly. "You might actually be more . . . charming. But he's prettier."

"See, I think I would be in trouble if I told you I thought another girl was prettier than you," James pointed out. He wished he hadn't when he saw her face fall.

"Yeah, but you like me _because_ you think I'm pretty, so that's really all I have. I like you because you're you. I don't like Sirius at all, however he looks," she said, eyes tearing up.

"Wait, hang on," he said, pulling her around when she tried to look away. "Where do you get the idea I only like you because you're pretty?"

She shrugged, unwilling to answer.

"You are pretty, mind. And I do like it. But that's not _why_ I like you. I've told you all the reasons I like you. How come you forget them so easily?" he asked.

She shrugged again. "I'm just saying, it doesn't matter if Sirius is pretty. He's a twat. He could be Mr. Universe and I wouldn't want him."

"Uh uh," he said, lifting her chin. "You don't get away that easily. Do you honestly think the only reason I like you is because you're pretty?"

"I think it's what you talk about most. And the other things about me, my job, and school, and all that stuff seem to bother you," she told him quietly, leaning her forehead against his chest.

He shook his head. "Are you mad?" he asked. "They don't bother me! I love that you're smart. I love that you study, and that you're driven, and that you work hard." He made a face. "I'm not wild about the job, but I can accept it. And anyway, your job doesn't define you. I like you because you're Lily Evans. My Lily. And the more I get to know about you, the more I like you."

She smiled slightly, looking up and wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you too," she said. Then her mouth fell open in such a comical way he couldn't help laughing. He held onto her when she tried to pull away.

"Oh, no," he said. "You don't get to take that back. You said it."

She shook her head. "I'm drunk. That's cheating. You're taking advantage of me in my vulnerable state."

"Nope," he said. "Doesn't work that way." He grinned at her. "You love me. You said it out loud. It's just basic fact now." He cocked his head. "Lily Evans loves me, Lily Evans loves me," he sang.

She smacked him. "Stop it. Especially if you aren't even going to say it back."

"Say what back?" he teased, getting another smack for his trouble. "Oh, so you've got it in your head that I love you?" he said. "Hmm . . . I wonder where you got that idea."

She jerked out of his grasp, but he tackled her onto the bed.

"I guess I can't really argue. You are the smartest girl in school, after all," he told her, leaning down to kiss her.

"James . . ." she said, when he came up for air.

"I love you Lily Evans," he told her, knowing what she wanted to hear. "Every day I'm with you just makes me love you more."

This time, _she_ kissed _him_. And he decided air was overrated.

* * *

_A/N - Next chapter should be back at Hogwarts. _


	24. Sorry

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I posted the next chapter for _Sins of the Father_ on _Just_, and the next chapter for _Just_ on _Sins of the Father_. In my defense, they were chapter 23 and 33 and both were called "Cheating" (which, in hindsight, was pretty stupid of me).

Thanks to everyone who reviewed or private messaged me to let me know I'd messed it up. I'm glad many of you were reading both and were able to simply change gears and sort out the problem on your own.

My sincere apologies to anyone and everyone who went to read the next chapter in _Just_ and thought James was a cheating bastard. Even more sincere apologies go out to anyone who went to read _Sins of the Father _and was treated to a chapter of James Sirius Potter getting incestuous with his little sister. My bad. It was actually meant to be a chapter on his Grandma and Grandpa in a different story.

I've changed the chapters (after managing to mess it up again once more before finally getting it right – because I'm just that good) and posted this to make sure anyone with an alert gets notification of the mistake. If you haven't already found the correct chapter on your own, all you should have to do is go back a chapter to find it. Sorry to anyone who thought this was an actual new chapter. I'll probably have another one up for _Sins of the Father_ soon, but _Just_ may take awhile.

Best,

Naj


	25. September 1st

Lily's eyes snapped open as her alarm went off. She stared at the clock, trying to fathom why in Merlin's name she would have set it to go off before the sun came up.

"It's not time to get up yet," she heard a voice mumble.

She rolled over, curling into James' warmth. "I'm not thinking all that clearly yet," she said, closing her eyes again, "but I think your goal was to get home before your mum came to wake you up."

James groaned, burrowing his face into her shoulder. "It's too early," he grumbled.

She lifted her arm, trailed her fingers down his back. "It's September 1st," she told him.

"Mhhmmm . . ." he said, obviously starting to drift off again.

Lightly, she dragged her nails back up his back.

He rolled over, pulling her on top of him. "I'll just lay here. You can use me as you will," he said, eyes still closed.

She laughed, nipping at his shoulder. "James," she said. "I'd really rather your mum not find out about us because you stayed the night. I'm not after giving her the idea I'm easy."

"Darling, you were anything but easy," he mumbled.

Shaking her head, she decided there were simpler ways to wake him up. She trailed her mouth down his chest. When she felt his hand tangle in her hair, she looked up at him. His eyes were still closed, but she thought he might be faking. Moving lower, she used her mouth on him, felt his hand fist in her hair. She glanced up at his face again. His eyes may still have been closed, but he definitely wasn't sleeping now.

She crawled up his body, shifted until she was straddling his waist. Watching his face, she lowered herself onto him.

She wondered if he knew how lucky he was to have a girlfriend who would wake him up so nicely. Then she forgot to wonder about anything at all.

* * *

_A/N - Super short, I know. But I thought better this than nothing at all. I'm thinking two, maybe three more chapters before it's finished. _


	26. A Laugh

James spun around when he heard someone shout his name.

"Yeah?" he said, spotting Benjy Fenwick.

The seventh year clapped James on the shoulder. "How was your summer, then?" he asked.

James smiled. "I can't complain," he said. "You?"

Fenwick nodded. "Same here," he agreed. "Could have done with having a few more birds around," he added, nodding as Lily walked by with her friends. She gave them a little wave, and James had to resist the urge to run and catch up with her. "This your year, you think?" Fenwick asked James, indicating Lily.

James grinned, rocking back on his heels. "Definitely," he said. "I think seventh year is definitely my year."

Fenwick laughed, nodded to James, and took off to meet up with his friends.

James looked around, waiting impatiently for his friends to show. He knew Lupin would be up with the prefects – and Lily of course. James wondered vaguely who had gotten Head Boy. He smiled to himself, remembering Liy's infectious excitement at having been chosen Head Girl.

He shook his head. At least he knew she wouldn't throw him over for whoever Dumbledore had chosen to pair with her. He nodded to himself. She was his. He still wasn't exactly sure how he had managed it, but she was definitely his. And Merlin knew she had owned _him_ for years now.

"Oi! James," Sirius called, walking up to him. "You having a talk with yourself here?" he asked.

James grinned, giving his friend a quick hug. "Just thinking that this is my year."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah? Figuring maybe you'll manage a bit of hand holding this year? Or," he stopped in his tracks, making a big production, "even better, maybe she'll let you lay across puddles so she doesn't get her perfect little feet wet."

James scowled at him. "She's not like that at all, mate. Really. You'll see."

"Uh huh," Sirius said, disbelieving. "Forgive me if I don't buy the cow before you've had any milk."

"Nice, mate. Real nice," James said, rolling his eyes.

Sirius was silent for a moment. Then he glanced over at James. "Any idea who you're going to pick this year?"

James shrugged. "I like to wait until tryouts. No sense in hurrying it. I've been surprised the past few years at the great finds I'd have missed out on if I didn't keep an open mind."

"Fair enough," Sirius agreed. "Remus already gone to the bootlicker carriage?"

"You're just a bundle of sunshine today, aren't you?" James commented.

Sirius shrugged. "I just saw Regulus."

James didn't really know what to say. "Did you talk to him?"

Sirius snorted. "Regulus, talk to me? I'm not a bloody Black anymore, remember? Anyway, he probably would have wanted to extol the virtues of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Not exactly my cup of tea, mate."

James nodded. "You're well shot of them, you ask me. Anyway, you've got us," he said, flinging his arm around his friend's shoulder and nodding as Peter came hustling up. "And you know you're always welcome round mine."

Sirius nodded, giving James a look that said the conversation was finished.

Peter finally reached them, breathing heavily. "James," he said, gasping for breath. "Remus. Sent. Me. You're. Supposed. To. Be. In. The. Prefect's. Carriage."

"What in the bloody hell are you on about?" Sirius asked, slapping Peter on the back in a most unhelpful way.

Peter, bent over with his hands on his knees, finally seemed to catch his breath. "He says you're Head Boy."

James blinked at him while Sirius burst into delighted laughter.

"Look at you, mate," Sirius said to Peter. "Having a joke." James thought Sirius looked like a proud papa.

Peter shook his head. "Not a joke," he said. "It should have been in his letter."

"Well, there's a mistake," Sirius said. "As he'll know it wasn't in his letter. You should have gone with a story about it accidently being left out of his letter." Sirius turned to James. "Am I right?" he asked. "You read your letter, and it didn't mention anything about you being Head Boy, yeah?"

James shook his head.

"See!" Sirius began.

"No," James said. "I mean I never read my letter."

Sirius turned to him in shock. Then he shook his head, smiling. "So you're the one having a laugh," he said, looking confident again. "You should have a gone with something a _bit_ more believable."

Just then Lily came storming toward them. She stopped in front of James, hands on her hips. "Head Boy?" she demanded. "And it didn't _occur_ to you to tell me?"

"I didn't bloody know," James told her defensively, aware that Sirius and Peter were both watching them closely.

"Why would you have told her?" Peter asked, looking far too interested. He had always been a gossip.

Sirius laughed. "He's been trailing after her begging for crumbs. As always."

James glared at them both, noticing Lily's discomfort.

"I never opened my letter," he told her. "I figured it was just a booklist."

"You didn't want to see your grades?" she asked.

He shrugged, glancing at the ground. "They're always the same."

He could tell she was trying not to get annoyed – and failing. "Should we go then?" he asked, somewhat apologetically.

"Yes," she said, turning on her heel and striding off toward the prefect's carriage.

James gave Sirius an apologetic smile and a wave, trying not to be too amused by his friend's flabbergasted expression. He nodded to Peter and turned to follow his girlfriend – at least he hoped she was still his girlfriend – toward a carriage he had never had any desire to join.


	27. Best

At the end of the prefects meeting, which James was mercifully silent for, Lily saw him stop to talk to Remus. Waiting for the outburst, she was surprised to see Remus smiling.

She took her time packing up her things, wanting to hear how he had taken the news.

"It should have been you, mate," James said, justifiable guilt clear in his voice.

Remus shook his head. "No, I don't think so. I've had a few years now to prove myself, and I don't think I've done such a good job of it."

James looked taken aback, and Lily had to stop herself from protesting. Eavesdropping made bucking up a friend very difficult.

"Are you mad?" James asked. "You're one of the best students in the year. One of the most responsible, too. You were practically made to be a prefect."

Remus shrugged. "I can _follow_ rules," he smiled, "at least most of the time. But enforcing them is another matter. If I can't even tell you lot when you're out of line," he shrugged, "I don't really have any business being a prefect. Certainly not Head Boy."

James stared at him. "So you think it makes more sense for him to make _me _prefect? I'm the one causing all the trouble you can't stop me from making."

Remus laughed at that. "Not so much last year. Plus," his shoulders rose and fell, "you're a leader. Giving you a bit of responsibility might keep you out of trouble. And it can't really make you cause anymore," Remus added, grinning.

"I still think he's out of his mind," James said.

Remus scrubbed tired fingers through his hair. "That's because you're too loyal to see faults in your friends. And too thick to realize your own good qualities."

James grinned at that. "Can I tell you? I've always admired your ability to compliment someone with an insult," he said in a sincere voice.

Remus nodded. "It's a skill I've cultivated past all reason."

Laughing they made their way out of the carriage. Lily saw James glance back at her, but she guessed he was too scared of her reaction to pursue the matter in public. After all, she had taken him to task in front of two of his best friends.

And then she'd been shown how out of line her reaction was by his other best friend. She had fully expected Remus to be upset that James had gotten Head Boy over him. Instead he'd been mature, and a really excellent friend. She didn't question that he had meant every word he said to James.

She sighed. Now she'd have to go make things right.

* * *

She didn't have the opportunity to talk to him on the train. Apparently, most of the students at Hogwarts shared her expectations when it came to James Potter. And matters needing one of the Head's attention came directly to her. James had never been a prefect, so he wouldn't have known what to do anyway.

She sighed. She would have to give him a crash course in being an authority figure at Hogwarts. At least Remus was right about one thing: James had always been a leader. And he was one of the smartest students at Hogwarts, so she was sure he'd pick it up quickly.

Lily considered him as they sat in the Great Hall. The sorting had gone off without a hitch, and she had a moment to relax and eat her dinner. James sat on the opposite side of the table from her, one seat over. She guessed he'd intentionally left enough space that no one could suggest they were sitting together.

She watched him laugh at something Sirius had said. She didn't realize she was smiling until Marlene commented on it.

"Does that mean you aren't angry about him about making Head Boy anymore?" Marlene asked quietly.

Lily saw James flick his eyes toward her, and knew he had heard the question. And would listen for the answer. She moved a bit of her food around on her plate, steeling herself. She had shouted at him in public. It was only fair she also apologize in public.

"Remus might have shown me how petty I was being," Lily said, jerking her head toward the sandy haired boy, who looked a bit surprised.

"Lily Evans. Am I to understand that you – Head Girl and longtime prefect – eavesdropped on our conversation?" Remus asked, smiling.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I _was_ in the same carriage. It's not as though I was going to stuff cotton in my ears." She cocked her head, smiling at him. "Do you know? You might be one of the best people I've ever met, Remus Lupin."

She laughed out loud at the shocked look on his face. "How can that surprise you?" she asked. "Any other person in your position would have been angry, or annoyed, or hurt, or bitter. I think you genuinely think he deserved it and will do a good job. You're actually happy for him."

"You don't think most people would be happy if one of their best friends had something good happen?" Remus asked.

Lily shook her head. "Not if they had reason to have expected it to happen to them instead."

Remus shrugged. "I wouldn't have made a good Head Boy. Dumbledore's smart enough to know that."

"I don't think that's true." She grinned. "I think you're as thick as James when it comes to seeing your own good qualities."

"We get it," Sirius snapped. "You think Remus should have been chosen Head Boy. As it happens, that decision is up to Dumbledore. And he chose James. I suggest you start getting used to it."

Lily raised her eyebrows at him. "I don't think it's my place to say who should have been chosen Head Boy. I'm only saying I think Remus would have done a great job."

"And James won't?" Sirius growled.

"Mate," James cut in, putting a hand on Sirius' shoulder.

Lily smiled at James. "It's alright." She turned back to Sirius. "I didn't say I thought he'd do a bad job of it. I'll admit I was surprised at Dumbledore's choice." She paused, glancing over at James again. "And that I found it rather . . . galling to have worked so hard for something and have someone who never seems to try at all end up in the exact same place." She lifted her shoulders in a graceful shrug. "But then, I've never claimed to be perfect."

She looked back at James. "Now that I've had a bit more time to think about it, I have to agree with Remus. James has been a lot more . . . responsible recently. And he has a vast amount of natural leadership ability. He could be an excellent Head Boy." She turned back to Remus. "But that James has the potential to be a great Head Boy doesn't mean Remus wouldn't have been a good choice." She smiled, leaning forward to kiss Remus on the cheek. "I stand by what I said. You are absolutely one of the best people I've ever known."

She had to stop herself laughing at the expressions arrayed against her. Remus looked fantastically embarrassed, James bemused, and Sirius baffled. Peter's head kept twitching back and forth between the other boys, as though he was trying to decide who he should side with.

Instead she gave Remus a concerned face. "Only," she began, shaking her head, "who am I going to study Defense Against the Dark Arts with now?"

"Did you guys study when you went off on your little prefect trips?" James asked, before Remus could respond. The other boy just closed his eyes.

"Mmm . . ." Lily said, taking a careful bite. "Our little prefect trips?"

James backtracked with all due haste. "I mean, did you . . . umm . . . multitask why fulfilling the grueling tasks set to all exceptionally talented and brilliant prefects here at Hogwarts?" He ended on an uncertain note, as though asking if he'd made a good enough recovery.

Lily couldn't help laughing at him. "Yes, we studied a lot."

Sirius gave Remus a disgusted look.

James on the other hand, smiled at Lily. "We could study while we fulfill our grueling Heads tasks," he offered.

Lily snorted as Sirius shifted his disgusted look to James.

"You said yourself. You know exactly what your grades will be before you get them. And I'm betting it's a whole row of O's." She shook her head. "And in seven years, James Potter, I've never seen you study once. Why would you want to start now?"

Sirius turned the disgusted look on Lily now. "Merlin, woman. He wants to _shag_ you. Everything James does that isn't sleeping, eating, or pranking is all in an effort to shag you."

James rubbed a hand over his face and took a very slow breath. Lily guessed he was getting his temper under control. And probably thanking Merlin that he'd already managed to shag her, because Sirius' declaration certainly wouldn't have improved his chances.

Lily just laughed. "Sirius, you have to be the worst wing man in the history of the world."

"That's . . . I . . . completely false," Sirius spluttered, making Lily laugh harder. She looked up to see James smiling at her.

"He's not entirely wrong," James said, obviously amused. "Though I think I would have used the word 'date' instead of shag."

Remus nodded emphatically.

Lily smiled at James, thinking he really did look adorable when he was trying to decide what to do about her.

"Lily," he began slowly.

"Yes, James," she teased.

"Would you go to Hogsmeade with me?" he asked, somehow managing to look calm and nervous at the same time.

She cocked her head, as though weighing and measuring him. She watched him drag his fingers through his hair, amused that the nerves were winning out over the calm.

"Ok," she said, making her voice casual. She took another bite, and tried not to laugh when James' smile bloomed massively.

"Wait . . . Did you just?" Sirius asked, looking between her and James. "Did she just?" He turned to Remus. "Was that a yes?"

Remus glanced over at Lily. "That's what it sounded like to me."

Sirius nodded sharply. "Right. I think we should do an unbreakable vow now," he declared. He looked at Lily. "It's really the best way."

Lily laughed as a flabbergasted James turned to scold Sirius.

"I said I'd go," she told him, rising. "And I will. If that isn't good enough for James, he can always back out."

James shook his head a bit frantically. "No, no, no. That's good enough for James. That's great for James."

Remus laughed quietly. "So great James is talking about James in the third person."

Lily snickered at that. "Sometimes I have that effect on people," she said. And giving the boys a saucy wave, she walked out of the Great Hall.

All in all, she thought it was probably the best way for the school to find out about her and James. And it didn't involve any explanations about bars, or invisibility cloaks, or summer visits to an apartment she wasn't supposed to have. It was definitely the best way.

The End.

* * *

_A/N Ok, so I can't actually remember how many more chapters I said I was going to do. And I sort of forgot my plan with the long lapses between chapters. But this seemed a good way to end it. I might – huge might – at some point in the future add another chapter or two to show Lily and Sirius becoming friends. But at the moment, I'm wicked busy. And what writing I do is on the next gen stuff I'm working on. Sorry L/J fans. I'm thoroughly entertained with their grandkids at the moment._

_Also, if you don't mind letting me know what you think of my writing style, I'd really appreciate it. I'm trying to decide whether I should apply for grad school to get a PhD in English Lit or an MFA in creative writing. I like creative writing better, but I've never considered myself particularly good at it. Keeping in mind that my fics are pretty quick and dirty and have no real revising or editing to speak of, which would you tend to recommend? As in, hypothetically speaking, if you picked up a book with characters you didn't know and writing/characterization/plot(ha ha) similar to mine, would you be interested in reading it?  
_


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